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Post by Honstlar on May 31, 2022 14:07:02 GMT -6
Synopsis: Pom Pom's parents are in town, and Homestar and Honstlar are gonna do the best they can to make their stay nice and cozy, much to Pom Pom's chagrin. {We open on an exterior shot of Pom Pom's house (You know, the one by the cliff), then cut to a picture of Pom Pom and his parents. The picture falls off.} {bubbling noises} (Ugh, not again.) {Pom Pom puts the picture back on the wall. We then hear his phone ring. He picks it up.} {bubbling noises} (Hello?) {Phone chatter} {bubbling noises} (Oh, hey there-) {Phone chatter} {bubbling noises} (What?) {Phone chatter} {bubbling noises} (You're coming over?) {Phone chatter} {bubbling noises} (In an hour?!?) {Phone chatter} {bubbling noises} (TALK TO YOU LATER?!?!?!?) {The phone hangs up.} {bubbling noises} (Oh, gad.) {Cut to Homestar in the Hatquarters.} And that's how I was able to get it off of the walls without stripping the paint.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on May 31, 2022 23:53:59 GMT -6
{Homestar's phone rings.} Who is it? Caller ID says it's Pom Pom. Which's weird, 'cause he usually makes bubble sounds, not ringing sounds. That's because that's a phone. Pom Pom's a phone?! No, that's not what I'm saying... Wait, you mean to tell me I don't transfer my physical form into a cellular device every time I call to remind you it's 2:51 a.m.? Hang on, I gotta take this. {takes the call} Hullabaloo, Runner comma Homestar comma Terrific Athlete speaking. {Phone bubbles} What? {Phone bubbles} They're coming over? {Phone bubbles} In an hour?!? {Phone bubbles} STOP REPEATING EVERYTHING YOU SAY IN A QUESTIONING TONE?!?! {Pom Pom hangs up.} BEEP?!?!?!?! I wonder what that was about. YOU WONDER WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT?!?! How's Pom Pom holding up? {listens to the phone} Not well, it seems. He's just making dialtone sounds now.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 1, 2022 0:06:48 GMT -6
That's rather impressive! Alls I can manage is the old AOL dial-up mess. {Honstlar opens his mouth and said dial-up noise is heard. It goes on for a while.} Okay, that's freaky even for me. Anyways, I should probably tell you what Pom Pom said. Did he crash into his fridge again? No, worse. His parents are coming over to his house in an hour! And he needs your help? Actually, he told me not to show up under any circumstances, especially to embarrass him, but I'm probably gonna do it anyways. Sounds sweet, can I come? Don't you can have a pointless subplot about raisins or something to get to? Oh crap, I do! Thanks for reminding me. {Honstlar finally stops.} Can I come? Sure!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 4, 2022 0:05:53 GMT -6
{Cut to a silhouette of Pom Pom's house exterior. A jet lands next to it, and two Poms walk out.}{Cut to Pom Pom desperately cleaning off his floor when he hears a doorbell.} {bubbles} (Oh crap, that must be them...) {Cut to Pom Pom opening the door to greet General and Fraulein Pom Pom.} {bubbles} (Mother, Father. Welcome. It's been some time!) GENERAL: {bubbles} (Yes, far too long. How has life been for you as of late, William?) {bubbles} (Very well, thank you. I've been very productive in pursuing my creative endeavors, and—) {barges in} Oh hello Mr. Pom Dog and Mrs. Dog Pom! You're even more bulbous than I imagined.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 4, 2022 0:57:27 GMT -6
{Also barges in} And a lot less filing cabinet than I imagined.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 13, 2022 1:25:49 GMT -6
FRAULEIN: {pompous bubbles} (Who are these impertinent fellows?) {bubbles} (I, uh, don't know these people.) Oh, you must need a reminder. I'm Homestar Runner! Some folk say I'm a terrific athlete. I'm Honstlar! Some folk say I'm a terrific wearer of all things helmets. Who says that? Some folk. {bubbles} (Please leave.) You remember me now, don'tcha? Like, remember that time we couldn't find the cereal and had dog food for breakfast instead? GENERAL: {bubbles} (You what now?) {bubbles} (This guy doesn't know what he's talking about, I swear.) You forgot about that too? That's funny, maybe you'll remember these other several embarrassing incidents...
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 13, 2022 3:49:06 GMT -6
…like that time I stole that government ray gun and turned your dog into a cookie jar, or that time I borrowed your cellphone and forgot to give it back, mostly because I ate it thinking it was a futuristic candy bar…
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 16, 2022 21:45:33 GMT -6
FRAULEIN: {bubbles} (What's he rambling about?) {bubbles} (Uh, just ignore him. Come, I'll get you something to eat.) No need, Pom Pom, I'll do the cooking. You haven't truly lived until you've tried my ever-so-patended toothpaste-frosted deluxe bronco trolleys.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 16, 2022 22:29:25 GMT -6
{whispers to General.} They're actually more like toothpaste- smothered bronco trolleys.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 18, 2022 0:50:06 GMT -6
GENERAL: {bubbles} (A bronky what now?) FRAULEIN: {bubbles} (And why do I smell smoke?) {offscreen} That's not smoke, it's steam! {The fire alarm and sprinklers activate.} Oh, uh, Homestar's just turning on the showers. You'll be squeaky clean in no time! FRAULEIN: {bubbles} (What is the meaning of this?!) What's with all the questions? Don't you like the feeling of a hot shower? GENERAL: {bubbles} (The water is freezing!) {An orange glow eminates from offscreen.} Well, you're in luck, because Homestar's starting a fire to keep you warm! {offscreen} Yes! This is completely and utterly intentional! On an unrelated note, I need someone to help me scrape these bronco trolleys off the pan.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 18, 2022 1:08:18 GMT -6
{A loud *BANG* is heard.} Oh crap, the pan exploded! On second thought, I'll just get us takeout. {Wipe to Homestar and the Poms sitting at a dinner table. Honstlar walks in holding five pizza boxes from "Cheatsa Pizza".} Alright, who got the pepperoni and sausage? GENERAL: {bubbles} (That would be me.) {Honstlar hands General a pizza box.} Who got the mushrooms and gummy bears?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 18, 2022 1:09:44 GMT -6
Not sure. Does it have mayo? It does. That would be mine.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 20, 2022 23:27:09 GMT -6
{Honstlar hands Homestar a pizza box.} Who got the three-and-a-half cheese? FRAULEIN: {bubbles} (I did!) {Honstlar hands Fraulein a pizza box.} And that leaves Pom Pom with the "I don't want any dang pizza! GET. OUT." special. You wouldn't believe how many pizza places I went through to find one that has this. {Honstlar hands Pom Pom a pizza box.}
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 21, 2022 21:21:18 GMT -6
{bubbles} (That's not what I... Hold on, where did you even find this?) When you spend several years lost between dimensions, you tend to pick up a few things. Like the fact that the multiverse is infinite, or which reality has the most pizza flavors. Speaking of which, I got dessert! {Honstlar opens a portal, through which a glowy tentacle thrashes about, flickering through states of existence.} {bubbles} (And this is...?) I can't pronounce its name in linear timespace, so I just call it "glowy tentacle portal stew". It's a favorite among the sentient mustache people of the eternal plane, and it tastes great with chocolate sauce! GENERAL: {bubbles} (I think I'll pass.) Ah, so you'd rather have my homebaked dessert? {Homestar holds up a pan, the contents of which are obscured by thick black smoke billowing out from it.} Told you I'd make some toothpaste-covered bronco trolleys.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 22, 2022 18:09:48 GMT -6
{Homestar blows away the smoke, revealing some surprisingly appetizing bronco trolleys with a large dollop of Aquafresh on them} GENERAL: {bubbles} (Wow, those actually look pretty good.) FRAULEIN: {bubbles} (I want some!)
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 23, 2022 23:36:34 GMT -6
See, Pom Pom? I told you your parents would warm up to my charming, loveable styles eventually. {bubbles} (Nah, they're just really big toothpaste fans.) Oh, I see. Wait, do they have teeth?
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 24, 2022 0:51:37 GMT -6
{General and Fraulein start eating the bronco trolleys.} General: {bubbles} (Ya know, normally toothpaste and oranges is the worst possible taste known to mankind, but the addition of peanut butter and Triscuit really make it better.) Fraulein: {bubbles} (Quite right.) You were saying? {bubbles} (Uhhh.... THIS DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING!)
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 1, 2022 0:00:04 GMT -6
FRAULEIN: {bubbles} (Homestar... Runner, is it? Your cooking is positively sublime.) GENERAL: {bubbles} (And we'd be delighted to pay you a visit the next time we leave the Isle of Pom. Ta-ta!) {to Pom Pom} Wait, they just warmed up to my lovable styles and they're leaving already?! GENERAL: {bubbles} (Indeed, we must make it to the gala for advancements in theoretical philosophy at the bureaucratic center of the foreign arts.) FRAULEIN: {bubbles} (A high-class event, to be sure. The centerpiece of the reception is a showing of General's latest art film, a tribute to all manner of sophistication and finest dentifrice.)
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Post by Honstlar on Jul 1, 2022 14:03:41 GMT -6
What’s it called? GENERAL: {bubbles} (It’s called Thnikkaman Reloaded) {Record scratch.} YOU MADE THE THNIKKAMOVIES?!? I LOVE THE THNIKKAMOVIES!!!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 6, 2022 0:32:37 GMT -6
GENERAL: {bubbles} (Oh, you're too kind. Thank you for your support, it's rare for such a niche, avant-garde, sophisticated action blockbuster to achieve such critical acclaim.) FRAULEIN: {bubbles} (The films' success speak to your incredible talent, General.) GENERAL: {bubbles} (Thank you, Fraulein. I can only hope the sentiment will be shared among our elegant spectators.) Can we come? GENERAL: {bubbles} (No.)
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Post by Honstlar on Jul 6, 2022 3:10:10 GMT -6
Fraulein: {whistles}General: {bubbles} (Oh, Pervus...) {A stereotypical butler walks into frame.}Pervus: Yes, my lord? General: {bubbles} (Bring the jumbo jet, it's time to go.) Pervus: As you wish, sir. {A plane crashes into the kitchen.} {bubbles} (Holy crap!) General: {bubbles} (Oh, you can afford to replace it.) {General and Fraulein board the plane.} Fraulein: {bubbles} (Goodbye, son!) General: {bubbles} (See you soon!) {The plane flies off, causing further damage.} What a couple of great people. Yeah, you must be grateful to have such awesome parents, aren't you, Pom Pom? {Pom Pom's eye twitches.} {bubbles} (They actually took a liking to a couple of philistines like Homestar and that other guy!?!?) I have a name you know! {Pom Pom turns towards Honstlar} {bubbles} (Oh, shut up, you ███████████████!) Woah, Pom Doge, watch the {Spanish accent} languaje. {bubbles} (More like you watch your mouth, you filthy █████! Gasp! How could you say that to me? We're supposed to be friends! {bubbles} (No, we are not! We've never been friends!! All you've ever done is drag me along on your stupid escapades, and cramp my style during my escapades!) Cramped escapades suck and all, but that's no need to lash out at the poor guy- {bubbles} (And don't even get me started on you, Stumpgut!) STUMPGUT?!?! {bubbles} (You broke into my house on a regular basis, loaded it up with weird crap, then got it blown up by some Russian lunatic's drone! Hey! You're the one who kept falling for the old bellybutton lint earmuff trick! {bubbles} (And that's supposed to be my problem?!? Because it isn't! What is my problem is my parents are fools for liking you and they must suffer the fate of all fools!) Being forced to attend an Of Montreal concert? {bubbles} ( DEATH!) {Lightning strikes.} That was my second guess. You're gonna kill your parents just because they like us?!? {bubbles} (I'll be doing them a favor! I'm off to the Isle of Pom! Don't ever talk to me again!!!!) {Pom Pom speeds off with his sick ninja moves.} Well, that escalated quickly. Mini-Me, we have to stop him before he pops his pop! (Pause.) And also his mom. But how? The Isle of Pom is uncharted, and even if we did know where it was, it would be like, 5,000 miles away!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 13, 2022 0:17:06 GMT -6
Didn't we fly a plane there once? After travelling to the past? Oh right, you were in another dimenson saving the world at the time. It was charted, but then it moved. Blame those dang tectonic plates, I knew I should've outlawed them sooner. So let's go find it! I know just what we need. {Cut to Homestar and Honstlar on the coast, watching a small ice floe drift through the ocean.} I knew we'd find Larry around here somewhere. You want us to ride halfway across the globe on an ice floe? Hey, don't you go doubting ol' Larry! I've ridden this thing across the globe more times than I can count! I can never seem to remember what comes after 1.
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Post by Honstlar on Jul 13, 2022 0:38:20 GMT -6
{The scene crossfades to a slightly grainy black and white picture with the legend "SATELLITE FEED" in the lower right corner as the camera pulls back to reveal the TV is sitting in The House of The Brothers Strong.} Again!? {Reverse shot of Strong Bad and The Cheat watching the television.} Seriously, how does this crap keep happening!? The Cheat, did you make tinkle in Homestar's melonade again? {negative The Cheat noises} You spat in Honstlar's Bull Honkey this time? {affirmative The Cheat noise} You see, this is why I regret giving that The Cheat leash to Strong Mad. {Strong Bad is suddenly smacked in the head by a leashed Tony Stoney and falls to the floor.} SORRY!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Aug 1, 2022 17:56:33 GMT -6
{Cut to Homestar and Honstlar drifting through the open seas.} Ah, smell that ocean air. You don't have to tell me. It's literally all I can smell from here. I know! Isn't it great? {Pause.} Does this thing have a gas pedal or cool rocket boosters by any chance? Nope, we're doing this the old-fashioned way. Did you know that before cars were invented, people travelled everywhere by ice floe? I'm no historian, but there's no way I'm believing that. Oh, of course, I forgot cars were invented before ice floes. {Pause.} Any way to pass time around here? I already told you, smell that ocean air. I LITERALLY HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE. Well, aren't you hard to please. Let's play I Spy. I spy with my little eye... something blue. Is it the ocean? How'd you guess? Your turn. Uh, something white. Is it the ice? Yep. Your turn. Oh boy! I spy something blue again. Is it the ocean? Whoa, guessing that once is impressive enough, but twice?! Let's maybe play something else.
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Post by Honstlar on Aug 4, 2022 14:50:56 GMT -6
Nah, this is too fun! Okay okay, I spy with my eye named Ty... something red. (Irritated) Let me guess, is it your shirt? Uh, no. And while I'm at it, no. It was that giant pill we're drifting towards. GIANT PILL?!?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Aug 9, 2022 0:20:55 GMT -6
{Cut to the two drifting towards the Pillmobile.} I thought that thing was destroyed, like permanently this time! What kind of pill is it? Steroids? Let's take it and see if we can go faster! Got any non-salted water? We time travelled in this thing a lot... that does tend to mess up the timeline. This must be a version of it from one of those times. Ooh, or maybe we can take it along, and rest on it whenever our ice floe gets tired! It's, um, a vehicle. We can ride it. That's even better! Can Larry come along?
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Post by Honstlar on Aug 18, 2022 4:38:52 GMT -6
Sure he can, Homestar, sure he can.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Sept 4, 2022 1:50:55 GMT -6
{Cut to a pointless subplot about raisins.} If we can't reverse the subatomic barrier, our galaxy will meet a sweet, prune-like demise! TALKING RAISIN: We need to end the conflict of Raisinia-7. We can only succeed if we work as one! It's time to enact the ritual! WE CALL UPON YOU, O GRAPEFATHER! {eats a box of raisins}{Cut to the fancy gala, where pompous Poms bounce around, all wearing tuxedos.}POM: {bubbles in a posh accent somehow} (A distinguished gathering, is it not?) ANOTHER POM: {bubbles more poshly} (Hm, yes, quite. A cosmopolitan symposium, to be sure.) {The Pillmobile crashes through the walls.} WE WON'T LET YOU GET AWAY WITH MURDER THIS TIME, POM POM! {Pause.} He's not here. Yeah, we should wait. Sorry, everyone! Resume your... whatever you do here.
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Post by Honstlar on Sept 14, 2022 16:18:52 GMT -6
{The Pillmobile backs out, somehow undoing the damage in the process.} YET ANOTHER POM: {bubbles even more poshly} (Well, that was bizarre.) {Cut to the inside of the Pillmobile.} Oh, this is hopeless! This island is so big, by the time we find Pom Pom, Pom Mom and Pom Pop will already be dead! {frustrated} No, it's not too big, because we aren't on the island yet! You just crashed into the Minnesota Not-So Secret Policeman's Ball-a-plooza! Huh, I knew I shouldn't have taken that loop-de-loop at Arkansas. I must have forgotten how to do all this! {Homestar pushes a button, which turns on the windshield wipers} Man, this air conditioning doesn't appear to be conditioning nor airing very well. That's it, I'm taking the wheel!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Sept 17, 2022 0:38:29 GMT -6
{Cut to the Pillmobile sailing across the ocean.} {voiceover} So how long will this take? {Cut to the interior.} Isle of Pom's uncharted, remember? This could take anywhere from seconds to months. Oh, right. I'll call Pom Pom and tell him to wait a few months so we can catch up.
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