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Post by Honstlar on Oct 26, 2022 20:36:39 GMT -6
No, we can't let him know we're following him! Then who can I call? Hmm... {Cut to Marzipan's Answering Machine.}
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Oct 26, 2022 21:27:48 GMT -6
{voiceover} Hi, this is Marzipan. Please hang up, but leave a message first. {beep} {voiceover} Hi Marzipan, this is Professor Stoopface, here to remind you that I've... you have j— you're diagnosed with stupid face. The cure is, uh, Strong Bad is cool and let— uh, give him twenty bucks. {muffled The Cheat noises} Oh, and twenty bucks for The Cheat. {more muffled The Cheat noises} Twenty-five, I mean. Thank you for, uh, stupid face... have. Talk to you soon, to remind you of your stupid face, because once again I am Professor Stoopface. {beep} {voiceover} Hey Pan... can I call you Pan? It's shorter than Marzi. Anyway, me and this weird purple man are sailing to an uncharted island on a giant pill, so uh, if you could help us stop a murder of Poms, that would be great. And when I say a murder of Poms, I mean a literal murder, not like... a group, like with crows. What's a group of Poms called anyway? {voiceover} A pommel of Poms? {voiceover} Cool. What about humans? {voiceover} Uh, I'll have to look that up. {voiceover} Cool cool. So, uh, if you find out what a group of humans is called... uh, call us back. Beep!
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Post by Honstlar on Nov 3, 2022 18:23:06 GMT -6
{beep} (Cut back to Homestar and Honstlar.)
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 10, 2022 21:32:51 GMT -6
Do you think that helped? Well, due to that offscreen timeskip, we're now about fifty kilometers from the Isle of Pom. So yeah, I'd say it helped. The wonders of scene transitions! {Cut to the fancy gala, where pompous Poms bounce around, all wearing tuxedos.}POM: {bubbles in a posh accent somehow} (A distinguished gathering, is it not?) ANOTHER POM: {bubbles more poshly} (Hm, yes, quite. A cosmopolitan symposium, to be sure.)
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Post by Honstlar on Nov 12, 2022 1:58:53 GMT -6
{The Pillmobile crashes through the walls.} WE WON'T LET YOU GET AWAY WITH- Hey, wait a minute, we're back at the stupid ball again! What!? How can this be? I could have sworn we were going the right wa- OF COURSE! Pom Pom must have found the Pillmobile before us and implanted a time-space causality loop-drive onto the engine! He implanted a what now? A time-space causality loop-drive! It siphons the energy of whatever it's attached to and prevents it from reaching its goal by trapping it in a single moment. Meaning that unless we can find and remove it, we'll be forced to crash into this ball over and over and over again until we die! How do we remove it? I dunno. Maybe a couple shots of whiskey? {Wipe to a shot of Homestar and Honstlar in the Pillmobile's (previously unseen) engine room holding bottles of whiskey.}
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 22, 2022 2:48:47 GMT -6
Down the hatch! Couldn't've said it any better myself. 'Cept maybe if I said it twice. {They drink.} It's like Smarty Juice, 'cept it doesn't smart as much. {under his breath} You don't smart as much. {The Pillmobile rumbles.} What's happening? What was in that whiskey? Was it adequately whisked? {looks at the battle} Hey, this isn't whiskey or Smarty Juice! It's Sm arrrty Juice! What's that? And why do you have an eyepatch now? I was about to ask you why you all of a sudden have a peg leg. I used to have seven more, but they got lost in the high seas. {They walk out to the deck of what now appears to be a large ship. A parrot lands on Homestar's shoulder.} Hey look, a shoulder.
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Post by Honstlar on Nov 22, 2022 3:47:51 GMT -6
{A bunch of swords are pointed at Honstlar and Homestar.} ???: Halt right there! {Pan out to reveal that a bunch of pirates are holding those swords.} Hey look, sudden danger. ???: I be Burgundybeard, scourge of the seven seases! And you be trespasserating on our ship!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jan 23, 2023 2:26:29 GMT -6
That's not true! This is all one big misunderstanding. See, we accidentally drank some pirate-themed Smarty Juice aboard our Pillmobile, and you're actually just our collective hallucination. BURGUNDYBEARD: A likely story... too likely. Make 'em walk ye plank! Hey, I do that all the time. My floorboards at home are made of planks. This'll be a cakewalk! Or at least a plankwalk.
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Post by Honstlar on Feb 1, 2023 2:44:55 GMT -6
Gfd, how did you get here? The raisin sub-plot ended sooner than expected, so I’m just gonna be apart of the main plot now. Fine by me! BURGUNDYBEARD: SILENCE!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Apr 9, 2023 19:04:41 GMT -6
Wait, silence for how long? I can hardly go half a minute without making a corny remark or saying I want to eat an inanimate object. And even then, you've got the sounds of the ocean... sorry, I don't really think silence is gonna be feasible right now. Kind of inconvenient that you happened to demand silence just as I entered the main plot. Honestly, that first line I said was kind of intended for Homestar, but I somehow forgot that I wasn't already in the scene. BURGUNDYBEARD: SILENCE OF THE WORDS FROM YOUR MOUTHS! Oh, that clarifies things! I'll try. {holds his breath} Apricot. Oops, sorry... but hey, twelve seconds! That's gotta be a record, right?
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Post by Honstlar on Apr 25, 2023 18:41:12 GMT -6
BURGUNDYBEARD: JUST WALK THE FREAKIN' PLANK ALREADY!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Apr 25, 2023 22:26:02 GMT -6
Could you perhaps direct us to it first? I'm not familiar with this area. No need, I've got one right here. {pulls out a plank of wood and places it on the floor} Ooh, nice! Do we all line up and walk on it at once, or should we go individually? Maybe it's like hopscotch, we're supposed to get across the plank in as few steps as possible! Sounds fun! Thanks for the suggestion, Burgerbeard! {Burgundybeard throws them into the ocean.} Ohhh, now I see. He wanted us to walk on a plank in the water.
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Post by Honstlar on Apr 27, 2023 19:12:59 GMT -6
Wait a minute, if this is supposed to be a hallucination, then why are we wet? {The pirate ship fades away, revealing the sinking Pillmobile.} Oh, now I understand. Well, we've taken care of the whole "stuck in a time loop" thing, but now we've lost our only mode of transportation! {Cut to Homestar looking at a much larger red-and-white pill.} Maybe we can ask the guys in that other Pillmobile if we can borrow it for a while. {Cut back to the earlier shot.} That's not another Pillmobile, that's just the Isle of Pom. (Pause.) {Everyone's eyes widen} THE ISLE OF POM?!?{Cut to the Isle of Pom, which is a large Pom Pom shaped island surrounded by a transparent pill-like dome.}
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on May 16, 2023 23:19:28 GMT -6
{Cut to Honstlar, Homestar, and Gfd walking across the tropical shores, bustling with Poms.} Wow, I've never been to Pom Pom's native island before. Except in 2016, but that was an alternate timeline version of me so it doesn't count. Oh right... yeah, that movie was weird. Now let's hit the beach and catch some rays! Of the sun and manta varieties! We should be stopping a patricide first. You need to rethink your priorities. We can stop a patricide anytime, but the beach is here right now!
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Post by Honstlar on Nov 9, 2023 7:25:53 GMT -6
Ugh, well if we're gonna be here for a while, we might as well try to find out where the gala is being held. {Honstlar starts walking away.} Let's go ask the lo- {Honstlar stops dead in his tracks.} Cuuuhhhlll..... {Cut to a girl resembling one of Pom Pom's girlfriends building a sandcastle. The camera slowly zooms in on her as very familiar romantic music plays.}SINGER: Woah-hoah, Mr. Fantasyguy, I know you can help me brighten up my day-hay! {Cut back to Honstlar. Hearts are floating around his head.} The locals... {Honstlar faints, then Homestar runs to him.} Oh no, Pom Pom killed Honstlar! When will his reign of terror end?!? {Honstlar wakes up.}
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 12, 2023 23:35:52 GMT -6
{Honstlar, dazed and surrounded by hearts, approaches the Pom Pom girl.} Hi, you're Honstlar, what's my name? GIRL: {bubbles} You're right, I am very cool, oysters and caviar sounds great. You can understand her? No, her accent is too strong and lovely. I studied Pom in school, so I can provide translation. GIRL: {bubbles} She says you're weird. Thanks, I like your eyes too. You come here often?
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Post by Honstlar on Nov 13, 2023 10:15:45 GMT -6
GIRL: {bubbles} She said she's going to call the police if you don't leave her alone. GIRL: {annoyed bubbles} What do you mean that wasn't what you said at all? GIRL: {bubbles} Well, that's what people usually say when Honstlar is love-struck. I just figured you were being sarcastic. I think I know what the problem is... {Homestar walks over to Honstlar and adjusts his "buzzer". Radio sounds are briefly heard.} And the finishing touch... {He pulls out an air-horn and blows away all the hearts.} There, that's better. GIRL: {in English} What did you do with the little guy? {Homestar puts a pair of glasses on upside-down.} Well my dear, I simply modulated the algorithm of the sound-wave interpreter installed in his cranial concealer so that the linguistic polarity matches the positron flow of the wernicke center of the average English speaking brain. GIRL: ...And that means? {The glasses shatter.} I have no idea. {Pan to Gfd, who has monocles all over his face.} What my colleague is trying to say is that Honstlar... {Gfd turns his head towards the camera.} And by sheer coincidence, the viewers at home... {He turns his back to where it was before.} ...will now be able to understand you perfectly. {Pause.} I'mma eat these now. {He inhales all of the monocles.} {burp} {Cut back to the girl.} GIRL: Okaaay... {Cut to Honstlar.} Yeah, he does that all the time. Back on topic though... {A few more hearts appear over Honstlar's head.} Do angels like you have names? {Homestar pops into frame and blows the horn again.} Thank you for that.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 17, 2023 3:02:42 GMT -6
GIRL: Yeah, usually. What's yours? GIRL: Jorg Burgulon. Oh, what a... beautiful, exotic name. We should get to the gala and stop Pom Pom from murdering his parents! Oh right. Hey Jorg, you wanna help us stop a murder and maybe catch a movie afterward?
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Post by Honstlar on Nov 17, 2023 3:48:56 GMT -6
JOJO: Sure! I mean it's not like I have anything better to do or anything. Welcome aboarg, Jorg! Say, can we call you Jojo for short-but-not-really-any-shorter-then-before? JOJO: OK. {Gfd pulls out a notebook.} Great, because I already put down Jojo in the transcript of this conversation and my erasers keep gaining sentience and fleeing from me so I won't be able to change it.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Dec 19, 2023 2:48:48 GMT -6
{Cut to the fancy gala, where pompous Poms bounce around, all wearing tuxedos.}POM: {bubbles in a posh accent somehow} (A distinguished gathering, is it not?) ANOTHER POM: {bubbles more poshly} (Hm, yes, quite. A cosmopolitan symposium, to be sure.) {Honstlar, Homestar, Gfd, and Jojo crash through the walls.} WE WON'T LET YOU GET AWAY WITH MURDER THIS TIME, POM POM! ...Wait, are we at that ball again? No, this looks like the right place. Good. I'd hate to repeat that gag a third time.
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Post by Honstlar on Dec 19, 2023 3:41:19 GMT -6
YOU GUESSED IT, ANOTHER POM: {bubbles as poshly as possible} (Actually, this is the gala for the gala for advancements in theoretical philosophy. The real gala's next door.) CURSE YOU, RULE OF THREES! {Cut to another, even fancier gala, where well-dressed poms, humans, dumb animal characters and everything inbetween are conversing. Honstlar, Homestar, Gfd, and Jojo walk into frame wearing tuxedos.}
Here we are, for reals this time! Okay, here's the plan. Garbles, you try and find Pom Pom and keep him distracted. Homestar, go and warn Pom Pom's parents. Jojo, follow me.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Dec 29, 2023 2:38:24 GMT -6
{Cut to Gfd and Pom Pom.} So, Pom Pom, I see you're preparing to do a couple murders. {bubbles} (Get out of my way.) No can do, I'm supposed to be distracting you. {takes out a clipboard and pen} Say, would you mind telling me if this your first murder? {bubbles} (As far as I can remember.) Jumping to patricide seems like a bit extreme, doesn't it? You should at least kill some dogs or something first. Anyway, continuing... {flips the page} How would you rate your enthusiasm for murder, on a scale from 1 to 10? {bubbles} (8.) Ah, nice. What can we do to improve your murder experience in the future? {bubbles} (Ditch the questionnaire.) {writing something down} Thanks, your feedback will be very helpful to us. What kinda murder weapon you planning to use? {karate-kicks Gfd across the room} Thanks for answering! If you don't mind my advice, though, karate is so 1984-1989 ago. You should use something deadlier! {takes a gun from his hat} Like this semi-automatic sniper rifle! {takes it and bounces away} This distraction is not going so well, I think.
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Post by Honstlar on Jan 9, 2024 22:39:31 GMT -6
{Cut to Homestar walking past several Poms.} That one's too short, that one's too fat, that one's not fat enough...
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Feb 10, 2024 22:35:28 GMT -6
Oh! Those guys look familiar! {approaches a pair of Poms} Say, would you two happen to be the parents who are about to get murdered? POM: No, I don't think so. Can you direct me to them? POM: I can't. I wasn't aware that any murders were supposed to take place here. Oh, really? {shines a flashlight in the Poms' faces} If you really weren't involved, you wouldn't have to try so hard to deny it. {clicks the flashlight on and off} What are you hiding? {General and Fraulein Pom Pom approach.}GENERAL: What's going on here? I think these suspicious Poms are accomplices to your upcoming murder, General Pom Pom. GENERAL: I'm gonna be murdered?! Yeah, probably.
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Post by Honstlar on Feb 11, 2024 0:02:49 GMT -6
FRAULEIN: Why would anyone do such a thing like that? GENERAL: Is this because of the chewing gum accident?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Feb 20, 2024 2:14:12 GMT -6
I forgot. {gets out his cell phone and dials a number} Hey, Pom Dog? Why are you murdering your parents? Or moudouwing them, as the case may be? Is it because of the chewing gum accident? What about the noodle incident? Hey, why aren't you saying anything? Do you hear that dialtone sound? FRAULEIN: Why are you calling dear William? Oh heavens... don't tell me he's at risk of murder too! GENERAL: Why isn't he picking up? This is immensely worrying! We must find him! {Pom Pom knocks Homestar out.}GENERAL: Oh, William! You're okay! {Pom Pom holds General and Fraulein at gunpoint.}GENERAL: Er... relatively speaking. {Cut to Honstlar and Jojo.} Whoa, where'd he get a gun?! {walks in} I gave it to him. As a distraction. JOJO: It doesn't look like it was a very effective distraction. Well, how was I supposed to know that?!
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