{Cut to the characters hopping around on the board.} I bet I can recruit more characters than
you!
Not likely. I've got the most helmets!
I'm about to get the Golden Fedora! Just you wait!
ANNOUNCER: But watch out, because Grindolo is trying to foil your plans!
{Grindolo poofs onto the board.} What am I doing here?
ANNOUNCER: Whoever has recruited the most members is the winner in this competitive game for 2-12 players.
But listen, if you only have two players, I won't be here. It breaks the game.
ANNOUNCER: With like a jillion types of cards and tokens, you might expect to pay five million dollars for this incredible game.
Fortunately, it only costs four million!
ANNOUNCER: I— I was going to say it's free.
Aww. So I don't get paid?
ANNOUNCER: Nope. Just download the documents and print away! Watch this actual gameplay footage!
{Cut to the characters gathered around the Pillquarters with the game set up, speaking in poorly-acted monotone.} {draws a card} With this card, I can either get a helmet, or delete a helmet from another player. I choose to get one.
{takes a token from the bank} Now you must... what's my line? Move.
{rolls the dice} I got 10 moves. Thanks to my B-Team card...
{reads card} "Dean's Adding Machine", I get to add one move, which means I have 11. What fun.
{Gfd moves his piece over to Stinkoman's space.} With my two helmets, I get to recruit Stinkoman.
{puts his tokens in the bank and draws Stinkoman's card} Stinkoman's character card lets me fly to any space. I'll move over here.
{moves his piece to the other side of the board; turns his character card sideways to show that it has been used} My turn. But since I'm trapped in Castle Grindolo, I must move Grindolo.
{Honstlar rolls the dice and moves Grindolo over to Coach E's space.} Oh, the horror. Now I am Grindolo.
{moves her piece to Castle Grindolo} Now I am free.
{moves his piece to the Pillquarters}{Pause.} Is that a wrap?
{Cut back to the board.}ANNOUNCER: But that's not all! For the price of $0.00, you
also get two additional features: customizations and minigames!
{Cut to the characters sitting around the board, acting poorly.} Man, it would be so cool if Grindolo was some different character.
Well, you're in luck, because we have access to a number of alternate print-outs. What that number is, I don't know. But it's definitely a number.
Oh the joy. What else can we do with these pieces?
There are some minigames we can play with the cards and stuff.
That is the greatest thing I have ever heard with my ears.
Yes.
{awkward pause} Yes.