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Post by Honstlar on Nov 11, 2018 23:59:53 GMT -6
Grindolo's latest plan involves turning the gang into Meeples and using them as literal pawns in his game of death.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 13, 2018 17:09:40 GMT -6
{Pan over a board while music plays and the title "Meeple Grove Market" appears over top. During the narration, panning shots are shown of various meeples toddling around the board.}PLEASANT NARRATOR: {voiceover} Welcome to Meeple Grove Market. Where the meeples all speak in board-gamery terms while I over-explain everything. {Cut to the board} Man, you guys. Man! We're all meeples now. That's cool, I guess. What game is this even? Who cares? I love this design! Look at all the simplicity. I look so round and puffy. 'S kinda annoying not being able to move your mouth though.
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Post by Honstlar on Nov 13, 2018 17:45:07 GMT -6
I kinda miss being a drawing, but this is neat too. Isn't this great? Nothing beats being made outta wood and standing still for all eternity. When you say it like that, it sounds awful.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 13, 2018 22:13:55 GMT -6
Hey SRMX12. I'll trade you two sheep for brick and wood. Go fish. Aw man! {hops around} 1... 2... 3... 4... Hey, I landed on Community Chest! I get to take a card! {takes a card and reads it} 4000 dolla points! Checkmate! Your turn, Honstlar. Great times! Anyone got any dice?
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Post by Honstlar on Nov 13, 2018 23:08:11 GMT -6
Stra-tee-gooo!!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 14, 2018 0:01:21 GMT -6
{tosses the dice to Honstlar} Thanks. {rolls a 3} One, two, three. Drat! I landed on a snake! I have to slide down to Gumdrop Mountain.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 14, 2018 21:45:34 GMT -6
What game are we playing even? Isn't it obvious? Monohihocandyofish of Chestanegomicrabbleskary! The sound of that made my ears wince in pain. Can anyone tell me how we ended up as meeples in the first place?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 25, 2018 20:56:33 GMT -6
{echoey voiceover} Mu-ha-ha-har-ha-har-ha-har... ...And why I hear Grindolo?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Dec 18, 2018 18:44:42 GMT -6
{Zoom out, revealing the board is on a desk in Castle Grindolo, and Grindolo is sitting over it. Lightning strikes.} AHHH! Grindolo! How did we not notice him until the camera zoomed out? You're not going to stand up and bump the table and knock us over, are you?!
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Post by Honstlar on Feb 7, 2019 14:15:12 GMT -6
No, I may be an evil 500-year-old spirit, but even I'm not that cruel.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Feb 7, 2019 17:35:42 GMT -6
So what's the point of all this? Were you the one who turned us into meeples for this board game? I have turned you into meeples, yes, but not for a mere board game, no... I'm using you as literal pawns in my game of death! Hey, that's what this episode's description says!
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Post by Zascub on Apr 24, 2019 12:43:35 GMT -6
But that makes no sense. How could you use a couple of wooden pieces to affect lives? Edit:(Alternatively) But... how does that work?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Apr 24, 2019 16:31:48 GMT -6
Let me tell you exactly how this game all works... no just kidding, it doesn't matter. You were expecting a long supervillain monologue, weren't you? Well, there's no reason for you to know this information, so I don't have to tell you! Ha- ha! Expectations subverted! 4½ stars with over 600 reviews! A cinematic triumph! Aw, please? I really want to know how this thing works. Okay... in all honesty, I'm not quite sure, because the show's writers haven't come up with a good explanation yet. Branderson? Anyone?
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Post by Honstlar on Apr 24, 2019 18:34:26 GMT -6
Branderson: (Offscreen) I don't know, something along the lines of 1313 Dead End Drive? That would be suitable if I knew what that was! Carl*: (Offscreen) Hold on, let me look it up on Wikipedia. (Typing noises are heard) Remember when we didn't make jokes like this? Don't be so cynical, Dando. YOU LEAVE MY FAKE FATHER OUTTA DIS! *Carl is the in-universe name of Gfd's real world counterpart.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Apr 24, 2019 19:09:18 GMT -6
Hey, I didn't know my name was Carl. This changes everything I've ever known!! CARL: Shut up, Garbles. Don't you talk that way to me, me! CARL: Okay, so apparently... this board game is about the heiress to a kitty-litter empire? Hey, this'll be easy! I'm already one of those. CARL: No, I'm not done yet. The players must escape this lady's trap-filled mansion before midnight. Ooh, sounds exciting!
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Post by Honstlar on Apr 24, 2019 19:37:26 GMT -6
Try not to get too excited, yellow fellow. Remember, I control all that happens to you! Prepare to suffer the wrath of Grindolo! (Pause} Just as soon as I make a board because that's how this kind of game works. French Narrator: One Board Making Session Later... (Cut back to the table, where we see the BODH in a miniature version of Castle Grindolo with board game elements like traps, a stack of cards and a portrait of Grindolo wearing a monocle, a top hat and a Hugh Heffner jacket.) (Offscreen) Welcome to the Board of Dolo, Helmets!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Apr 25, 2019 18:11:33 GMT -6
Ooh! Ooh! What fun! Whose turn is first?
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Post by Honstlar on Apr 25, 2019 18:14:40 GMT -6
NO ONE'S! I control everything, remember? Me remember? That's crazy talk.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Apr 25, 2019 18:26:45 GMT -6
Therefore... it is my turn! {rolls dice} Seventeen! Yes! Seventeen? What's that mean? Tell me, Dean! What's a bean? Are they clean? A bean is a type of legume which can be classified within— Sorry, I got carried away. What's seventeen mean for us?
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Post by Honstlar on Apr 26, 2019 17:25:44 GMT -6
It means "Shut Up, Egghead, It's Time To Draw A Card." (Cut to the portrait.) And the first target is... (Grindolo pulls a card out of the frame, causing the painting to change to depict...) Homestar!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Apr 26, 2019 17:58:01 GMT -6
Ooh! Ooh! This sounds fun. What do I do first? You die. Aww. That doesn't sound much fun. Not really that much fun at all. {he drops dead and rolls off the board}
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Post by EDITED Video Greg on Apr 27, 2019 9:59:36 GMT -6
(Dooble draws a card from a giant stack next to him.) (Reading) Go directly to jail, but pass go and collect $200 smackaroons because we can.
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Post by Honstlar on Apr 27, 2019 10:45:39 GMT -6
How is this game where everyone has a chance of dying horribly more generous than Monopoly?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Apr 27, 2019 21:39:47 GMT -6
I'm not that cruel. Plus, it's not even real money. It uses GrindoloBills. The ratio compared to legal tender is zero to the infinitieth infinity. Wow, that is the most useless money I've ever heard of.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on May 16, 2019 20:43:31 GMT -6
Well I guess we'd better pass go, collect 200 GrindoloBills, and go to jail. My three favorite activities! Quick! Someone roll the dice so we can see how many spaces to move!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Aug 8, 2019 15:28:21 GMT -6
{rolls the dice} Seven thousand two hundred fifty six. Impossible. That's a six-sadd— er, six-sided die. Take a look. {looks at the dice} Whoa. That is... that is a lot of dots. This magic die can give any number between -38 and 91,483. And now, I shall use this die to make you die! ...Was that a good pun? Yeah, I'd say so. Good. I thought of that a few days ago, but I wasn't sure if it was good enough to say out loud. Now start moving! {Everyone moves around the board}ALL: One... two... three... four...
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Oct 14, 2019 20:10:31 GMT -6
{Cut to a black screen with white text reading "Seven thousand two hundred fifty two moves later...". Cut back to the board.}ALL: {exhausted and on the brink of insanity} Seven thousand two hundred fifty six. Nicely done. You just earned yourself 200 GrindoloBills. Now, to jail with you!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Dec 19, 2019 22:19:36 GMT -6
{Cut to the BODH crowded on the jail space.} I hate this. We have to escape and turn back to normal. But how? Maybe if we win the game and survive, we get to leave. But how do we win? Beats me. The rules aren't really clear. We'll figure it out as we go.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 1, 2020 20:56:47 GMT -6
I do that every time I try to play Risk!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 2, 2020 19:00:20 GMT -6
Hey Greg, you got your magic sketchbook? That I do. Why don't we make our own cards to get us out of here? It's kind of hard to draw when you're an unmoving piece of wood, but I'll see what I can do. {A sketchbook falls out of Greg's pocket. He falls over, holds a pencil in his mouth, and twitches slightly to draw on the page. Finally he stands back up and stands on the book, ripping out the page.} One "get out of jail free" card. Made with 0% functioning arms! What?! That's not part of the rules! On the contrary. We're not playing Board of Dolo... {Cut to the title on the board. "Dolo" is crossed out and replaced with "Gfd is Really Quite A Fine Fellow: The Game: The Board Game: The Board: The Game".} We're playing a different game! I changed the title when you weren't looking, thus rendering your rules meaningless! You imbecile. You may have tampered with the game, but I'm still the only player! I have full control over your fates! Yeah, but you still have to follow our rules. Now let us out of here. {The meeples leave the jail space. Zascub steps on a suspicious tile.} Ha haaah! You've entered the Booby Trap Zone! That tile sends spikes out of the walls and through your thick skull! Not so fast! According to my rules, the spikes don't harm anyone. The spikes are made of ultranemium alloy! No one is immune! Then I give Zascub an ultranemium shield to prevent his fate! That's not even in this game. It is now! Fine. There is a shield, but it's all the way on the other side of the board. That's not too far. The next tile is a portal to the shield, I just decided. Not for long. I'm starting my next turn in the Portal Control Zone, so I gain the ability to deactivate portals next turn! Fine, but you have to give us a ten-second head start! Wait, is this just Calvinball in board game form now?
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