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Post by Honstlar on Jun 2, 2020 23:24:09 GMT -6
Pretty much. In fact, that's one of the wacky and embarrassing challenges you have to do if you want to roll the dice!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 3, 2020 16:55:40 GMT -6
Aw, come on! Sorry, it's in the rules. That's fine... {draws a card} because I just started my next turn! All portals are deactivated! Hey, you didn't give us a head start! Oh, but I did. I counted to ten internally while you were busy talking. Aw, man! And you know what that means... booby trap time! {Zascub's meeple gets impaled with spikes, and falls off the board.} Oh no! Scub! Er, Zas! Scubbers? Zasc? What should his nickname be? Doesn't really matter now that he's dead. So, Grindolo, what do you have planned for us this turn?
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 3, 2020 19:39:47 GMT -6
Two words, Waddler, GIANT. KILLERSHARKLIKETHINGTHATWIPESYOUFROMEXISTANCEFOREVERANDEVER. I'm pretty sure those were more than two- SILENCE!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 4, 2020 14:58:44 GMT -6
{A moving killer shark-like meeple is placed on the board.} How do we conquer this mighty beast?! Roll for evasion stat, and divide the G. We'll share our experience points and upgrade our weaponry threefold! D N' D GREG: Quit bitin' my style! Hey, that's it! We can bite the shark's styles before it bites ours! Its styles? How do you propose we do that?
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 4, 2020 17:35:40 GMT -6
(Pulls out a pair of fake vampire teeth) With this!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 6, 2020 18:12:42 GMT -6
{Gfd puts in the teeth and walks over to the shark thing.} I vant to bite your shtyles! SHARK: Izzat s'posed to be a Translyvanian accent? Short of. But alsho it'sh jutht really hard to talk wish dezhe vampire teesh. SHTYLE BITE! {Gfd bites the shark thing and sucks up its styles. It turns into a bland doodle.}SHARK: Oh no! My style is gone! Get out of here, giant killer shark-like thing. No one likes your style.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 6, 2020 19:56:30 GMT -6
(The shark fades from existence while the Nebulon sound plays.)
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 7, 2020 15:23:02 GMT -6
Now what?
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 8, 2020 18:06:39 GMT -6
Now we begin construction of the doomsday device- Mystic mustard machine. What? No! We’re building a- Mystic mustard machine, I know.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 9, 2020 15:57:19 GMT -6
{annoyed groan} Okay. A mystic mustard machine that is also a doomsday device. That's a good compromise. You're starting to get the hang of this. The machine spills mystic mustard all over the board, and unless Gfd manages to eat it all, the world ends. Aw, come on! Can't you at least give me a chance?!
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 9, 2020 17:58:32 GMT -6
Our pill, our rules, baby!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 11, 2020 22:08:52 GMT -6
{wiping his mouth with a napkin} The mustard is already gone. I haven't even started the machine yet! You dare question the stomach of Garbles the All-Devouring? {draws a card} Hey look, this card says "Gfd dies". It does? Well, in that case... {falls over and rolls off the table} Nooo! You won't get away with this. {steps on a tile} I declare this tile to be the Gfd-resurrecting tile. That means I get to resurrect Gfd. What about Homestar and Zascub? Eh, they can resurrect later, I don't care. {performs magic on the board} Sorry, but the tiles have been swapped. The Gfd-resurrecting tile is now on the other side of the board. You're standing on the brainwashing tile. Aw, that's not convenient for me at all. Hail Grindolo! There you go. Oh, the inconvenience! Now, about that mystic mustard machine... {The board begins to flood with mustard.} We have to make it to the Gfd-resurrecting tile! He's the only one who can save us from the condiment onslaught!
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amberite
Acolyte
Almighty Waitress/Janitor
wowie! good movie
Posts: 11
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Post by amberite on May 9, 2021 17:12:44 GMT -6
: I think I have an idea! We could walk across the board to get to the Gfd-resurrecting tile! : But the board's stained with mystical mustard. Going with the tile path would be easier. : But what about the mustard that's already on the tiles? : (shaking mop) I...I could sweep it off our path, probably! Now stop bickering!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on May 12, 2021 14:06:34 GMT -6
{typing} According to my calculations, that's the best course of action we can take right now. {visibly nervous} Uh, out of c—curiosity... what's second? The second-best plan is to wait for an extraterrestrial invasion of sapient begonias to consume the mustard with their patented mustard-consuming spaceship technology. And, uh, what are the chances of that happening? 0.0000000000000... Well then... I guess there's no other choice. I must sweep away the mustard. Hold on, I'm not done. 00000000000... {continues}{Sume walks along the tile path, sweeping away the mustard.} You can do it, Sume! I believe in you! Just remember, don't touch the mustard or you'll die a slow, painful death! Thanks, that's a helpful reminder. {The mystic mustard machine spews out a dollop of mustard at Sume. She dodges just in time.} Th—that was close. Um, is anyone else interested in sweeping up this mustard? I would, but I've got no arms. But you can— I said I've got no arms. Get off my back. I do have arms, but they're, uh... broken. I'm busy with... waffle... business... {runs away to do waffle business}{The mustard continues flooding the board. Eventually, it pools around Sume, trapping her in the center of the flood. The mustard slowly approaches. She tries sweeping it away in vain, but alas, to no avail.} Someone! Help! Quick!! Just a second, I'm almost finished here... 00000000001%. {Suddenly, extraterrestrial spaceships full of sapient begonias invade, consuming the mustard with their patented mustard-consuming spaceship technology. The board is clear.} Thanks for invading the planet at such a convenient time, sapient begonias. We knew your patented mustard-consuming spaceship technology would come in handy.
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amberite
Acolyte
Almighty Waitress/Janitor
wowie! good movie
Posts: 11
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Post by amberite on May 12, 2021 19:17:08 GMT -6
: Hurrah for rare, convenient events! Let's get to the Gfd-resurrecting tile before Grindolo tries to stop us again. (the living members of the BODH run to the Gfd-resurrecting tile) : Hey, wait! That's not fair! You all only survived because of some inane coincidence! If you step on that tile, I'll make sure that my next challenge is even worse! , stepping on the tile: What could be worse than mystic, killer mustard?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on May 14, 2021 18:05:30 GMT -6
{pops out of the tile} Hi guys! That. Gfd? Worse than mystic killer mustard? I mean, I'm not going to argue with that. Last week he ate the quesadilla I was saving for dinner, and also literally everything else in my kitchen, including the chairs. You should be glad I got rid of your chairs. They tasted horrible. Still, though, it's Gfd. He's relatively harmless, right? Perhaps I used to be. But now... {He eats Dean and his eyes glow red.} I'm hungry. Oh, come on! First my chairs, now my sort of kind of girlfriend? That's really rude. No, Gfd wouldn't do this... something's wrong. What could it be? {They look down at the tile. It says "Gfd resurrecting tile", with "cursed" written above.} {to Grindolo} You monster! Hey, I said I'd bring him back. Never said he'd be exactly the same. You neglected to mention he'd be resurrected as a mindless glutton who will devour us all! It goes without saying, doesn't it? You just described him perfectly. The real Gfd would almost never eat his friends. He would eat our lunches, and our helmets, and our headquarters a few times, but not us. Yeah, if Gfd was his regular self, he'd have drawn a card to summon an infinite supply of breadsticks instead. Ooh, speaking of which... {draws a card} These breadsticks should keep 'im distracted.
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amberite
Acolyte
Almighty Waitress/Janitor
wowie! good movie
Posts: 11
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Post by amberite on Jul 3, 2021 16:56:33 GMT -6
(A very large pile of breadsticks fall onto Gfd.) Okay, what do we do now? Run away and try to find something that de-curses Gfd. You sound awfully sure about that. What are you going to do, try to stop us from walking or something?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 11, 2021 18:30:32 GMT -6
{Grindolo rolls the dice. It lands on the "stop you from walking" side, and everyone's legs disappears.} Oh. How are we going to de-curse him now?! Hey look, a de-cursing switch! {points to a lever on the other side of the board} If Stom can throw one of his waffles at that lever, the effects of the curse may nullify! {Several clones of Gfd walk in front of the lever.} Those waffles will have to get through us first. It resurrected multiple Gfds? I can hardly tolerate one! That's fine, my waffle power is no match for them.
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Post by Honstlar on May 29, 2022 19:47:20 GMT -6
{The clones give the stink eye to Stom.} Sic semper conteram-ieiunium, seniorem sentinams! {Stom begins to franticly toss waffles of various shapes and sizes.} I think he's got it, I think he's got it!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 1, 2022 1:08:17 GMT -6
{The Gfds consume the waffles and continue advancing forward.} It's only encouraging them! What do we do now?! Just wait, I've almost got it! {The Gfds begin to become overwhelmed by the sheer number of waffles being thrown at them, and are knocked back by the onslaught.} Great, now flip that switch! Darn, waffle maker's jammed. {takes out a card} But I've been saving this in my pocket for a situation just like this... You predicted that we would lose our legs and be forced to de-curse clones of Gfd by throwing waffles at a lever? Duh. Why else would I swipe a card of Ultimate Waffle Generation? {Stom uses the card, generating the Ultimate Waffle.} This card is a one-time use, so I've got to get the timing right... You can do this, Stom! Don't hold back!! {Stom throws the waffle. Cut to a slow motion shot as it flies between the Gfds and approaches the de-cursing lever...}
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 1, 2022 1:12:04 GMT -6
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 13, 2022 1:02:46 GMT -6
Somehow I still don't feel like we're any closer to winning the game, though. Especially considering we don't know how winning works. That's because you can't win! I control your fates, and the game doesn't end until you're all dead! But you have to follow our rules, remember? Even so, I'm the only player! Therefore, you are all mere pawns under my command! Not if we have anything to say about it! {Pause.} {to the rest of the BODH} Do we have anything to say about it? Yeah, I say all this board-induced murder is in very poor taste. We should probably come up with a plan of some kind. {The BODH huddle together, whispering a plan to win the game once and for all...}
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Grindolo
New Member
Powerful Cosmic Warlock
YOU WILL ALL DIE IN AGONIZING PAIN.
Posts: 8
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Post by Grindolo on Jun 25, 2022 22:28:33 GMT -6
Oh no, ya don't! {Grindolo poofs them each into their own cage at separate parts of the board} There will be no conspiring on my watch! In fact, I do believe it's time to reveal the next target...
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 25, 2022 22:31:17 GMT -6
(Grindolo pulls a card out of the frame, causing the painting to change to depict SRMX12) Whaddaya know, it's SRMX! IT'S SRMX12- {He poofs away.}
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 1, 2022 22:41:50 GMT -6
Thanks for correcting me. The card doesn't work without someone saying the full name. SRMX12, no! He was the smartest of all of us, he was going to be our head conspirator! Exactly, who better to kill off than the one with the greatest chance of planning a successful scheme against me? Well, our chances of survival have just dropped severalteenfold. We can still do this without him! I believe in all of you, we can come up with something! You mean, like... {The team whispers among themselves. Fade to later. Grindolo prepares to draw another card.} Well, I'm seeing more conspiring, so it looks like it's about time to give someone an eternal time-out. {smugly} Go ahead, draw a card. See what happens.
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Post by Honstlar on Jul 2, 2022 0:10:11 GMT -6
{Grindolo draws a card.} And the next target is... ME?!?!? {Grindolo poofs away.} All: {Loud cheering.} {A siren blares.} Voice: Warning: Integrity Comprimised! Board Will Explosively Cease Existance In T-Minus 5 Seconds. D'ohhhh, poopie. {The table explodes. Once the smoke clears, we see the BODH (Including Homestar, Zascub, Dean and SRMX12) back to normal.} Incredible! Not only did we survive a massive table-splosion, but now we're all back to normal!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 8, 2022 0:29:08 GMT -6
I'm just sad I'm not made of wood anymore. {Everyone laughs. Slow zoom-out as music plays.}PLEASANT NARRATOR: {voiceover} And so, the player of this board game seemed to perish as a result of his pawns turning against him, because you see, sometimes when a board explodes and all its victims are resurrected— {The music intensifies as the scene continues zooming out, revealing a giant Grindolo looming above, looking over the BODH like pawns on a chessboard.}PLEASANT NARRATOR: {voiceover} —the chessmaster himself will return. {An evil laugh is heard as the scene cuts to an "END" screen spelled out with meeples. After a long pause...} {voiceover} Aw man, I'm the target again?! {another poofing sound is heard}
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