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Post by Honstlar on May 24, 2022 21:09:07 GMT -6
Synopsis: Honstlar's little brother Handy is staying at his place for the night but he refuses to go to sleep, so Unckie Strong Bad breaks out the storybooks and regales the two with some Sbemailiarized™©® fairy tales! {We open on an exterior shot of Honstlar's house, where we see a blue SUV drop off a small Honstlar-like figure.} Voice: Have a good time, now! {Cut to in front of Honstlar's door, where we see that the figure is none other than Handy, who then hits the door with his head twice.} Handy: Ow. {He "knocks" again} Handy: Ow. {He knocks one more time.} Handy: Ow! {Honstlar opens the door.} Hey, Handy, what brings you here?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 1, 2022 0:18:54 GMT -6
HANDY: My feet. {turns to the camera and smiles, as if expecting applause} Nice try, that joke's been done to death. Besides, weren't you driven here? HANDY: If you want, I can walk away and come back to make that punchline work. It's a terrible punchline. Just come inside. HANDY: In side? But the door's in front! {turns to the camera and smiles again} You're really trying hard to endear yourself to the audience, aren'tcha? HANDY: I've hardly been on this show before, I've got to make a good first impression.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 1, 2022 0:27:01 GMT -6
Don't blame ya, we have two whole characters we haven't introduced yet mostly because we don't know what to do with them yet. Heaven knows how people will react to them. (Offscreen) People actually watch this show- Shut up! You'll get your turn! Handy: Now where's the pantry? {Cut to said pantry.}
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 11, 2022 21:50:41 GMT -6
HANDY: Hey, there's nothing in here but a melty can of bean paste! I, uh, wasn't expecting a guest. You can have either the bean paste or the can. HANDY: I don't suppose I could ask for both? No way, I've gotta eat something too.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 11, 2022 22:43:25 GMT -6
Boobtube: {offscreen} Blub-blu-blub-blub? You already ate, like five seconds before this cartoon started!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 16, 2022 0:09:00 GMT -6
{Cut to everyone at the dinner table.}HANDY: Mmm, what bean paste that was. That can was definitely edible. HANDY: You sure that was all the food you have? Aside from the second, third, and fifth pantries, yeah. HANDY: What about the fourth pantry? We do not speak of the fourth pantry.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 16, 2022 0:48:26 GMT -6
{Cut to the fourth pantry. It is glowing green.} Not after the microwave Hot Fries incident.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 18, 2022 0:38:40 GMT -6
HANDY: Can you elaborate? No. HANDY: Fair enough. You got any video games?
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 20, 2022 23:47:03 GMT -6
Do I have any {chuckles and grins} video games? Do I have an— Do I have any—
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 21, 2022 21:53:38 GMT -6
{A massive flood of video game cases cascades through the house, burying Honstlar and Handy beneath them.} {muffled} YES, I HAVE VIDEO GAMES. HANDY: {muffled} Oh, cool. Where's Flappy Bird?
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 21, 2022 22:43:18 GMT -6
{muffled} Uhh, I don’t know how to break it to you, but that game has been delisted for nearly a decade, so I doubt that I have it.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 23, 2022 23:20:45 GMT -6
HANDY: Oh, nevermind then. Let's watch TV. What? I got out a thousand games and you're not interested in any of them?! We need to expand your horizons, little buddy. Pick a game, any game. HANDY: {picks up a cartridge labeled "E.T."} I guess this one looks kinda cool. Not that one.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 24, 2022 0:38:13 GMT -6
HANDY: {picks up a cartridge labeled "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"} What about this? Or that one. HANDY: {picks up a cartridge labeled "Blistergeist II"} Ooh, maybe this one will- {Honstlar smacks the cartridge away from Handy.} Definitely not that one! {Laughs on "definitely"}
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Becca!!
Acolyte
Version 3.5!
Posts: 24
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Post by Becca!! on Jul 18, 2022 14:38:01 GMT -6
BECCA: I just got upgraded! And yes, I'm a robot.
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Becca!!
Acolyte
Version 3.5!
Posts: 24
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Post by Becca!! on Jul 19, 2022 15:42:27 GMT -6
: I'm coming over for the night!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Aug 8, 2022 23:31:22 GMT -6
I don't even know who you are! How'd you get in my house? And how can you get out? Like this. {leaves} There we go. Let's see, we got Stinkoman, Peasant's Quest, Super Smash Broternal Order of Different Brothers, Super Kingio Iliad, Eternal Blade of the Destiny RPG 2000: RiddleCalibur Edition, and Gfd: The Game. {holds up a drippy sandwich} That last one is a sandwich.
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Post by Honstlar on Oct 25, 2022 22:59:53 GMT -6
{Gfd pokes his head out of the game pile} {In Strong Bad's voice.} Didn't stop it from getting a 89 on Metacritic! Garbles, how did you get in my pile? Garbles? Oh, oh, OH! My bad! {A boxing gloved hand pulls off Gfd's hat and face, revealing him to actually be Strong Bad in a Gfd mask.} I was doing some video prank calls and I must have forgotten to take off the mask.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Oct 26, 2022 21:20:37 GMT -6
Thank goodness you're here! Can you help us choose a game? What's the smolderiest, most explodiest, M-est-rated game you have? Probably Clapping Party. But I don't play that in front of Handy, the blister level might scare him. HANDY: I LOVE BLISTERS! You sure you'll be able to handle it? HANDY: Mm-hmm! All right. Please insert Game Pak, kid! {They insert the game and start playing. Cut to Honstlar, Strong Bad, and Handy on the couch. Chainsaw noises are heard as the camera slowly zooms in on Handy, his eyes widening.}VOICE: Ow, my blisters! Stop! It's too many blisters! IT'S TOO— {Cut to Handy lying awake at night, eyes wide open.}HANDY: Honstlar? I can't sleep. {groggily} What do you want? HANDY: Can you sing a lullaby? Leave this to me, I know the perfect lullaby for tiny kids. It's about bran muffins. Do you have a chainsaw handy? HANDY: No. I wasn't talking to you, I meant, like... is there a chainsaw available? We don't use chainsaws in front of the kid. What?! Why not? Chainsaws might remind him of blisters. Jeez, talk about helicopter parenting. My parents let me play with chainsaws all the time! Can't you just, like... tell him a story or something? Sure. You got a hockey mask handy? Some knives would be cool, too. Ideally something that won't scare him. Hmm. Well, is he scared of Moses Malone? He sometimes has nightmares about Moses Malone coming out of his closet and eating all his spaghetti without asking. What about fluffy bunnies? One time a fluffy bunny beat him up and stole his lunch money. He doesn't like to be reminded of it.
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Post by Honstlar on Oct 26, 2022 21:40:45 GMT -6
What about Trogdor? He couldn't possibly be scared of Trogdor, could he? He gave him a bad stock tip and he nearly got killed by a bunch of loan sharks trying to get his money back. And the loan sharks were also literal sharks. Well then, I got nothing. Looks like it's time to break out Plan B... {Strong Bad pulls out a massive book that reads...} ...Count Longardeaux's Big Stinkin' Book of Myths, Legends, Fairy Tales, and Assorted Made Up Crap!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Oct 26, 2022 21:58:01 GMT -6
Anything scary in there? Nah. There's some old fairy tales from the 1800s, but we all know that nothing bad has ever happened in any fairy tales throughout history. That is incredibly true. Let's give it a read! Let's see, this story's called...
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Post by Honstlar on Oct 26, 2022 22:26:26 GMT -6
...Beauty and the Bad! And it goes a little something like this! {Wipe to Strong Bad at his computer.} {reading} {Strong Bad reads "Merdefully Yours" and the signature in an exaggerated French accent.}
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Oct 27, 2022 23:48:12 GMT -6
{typing} Well, Sid Frenchman, it shouldn't surprise you to know that I've never been any less handsome than I currently am. My mom still has photos from the ultrasound, and trust me, you will never find a more dashing fetus. {stops typing} Maybe I shouldn't have phrased it that way. {clears screen; typing} The point is, no one has ever been born as naturally handsome, beautious, and all-around awesome as I (or "me", as I've sometimes been called).
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Post by Honstlar on Oct 28, 2022 0:08:06 GMT -6
{clears screen} But there was a time when I was somewhat less presentable than I am today. It all started one night while I was in my- (Cut to a shot of a massive castle at night.) {offscreen} -awesome castle that I totally have. (A figure walks up to the castle and knocks.) Somebody get the door. (Pause.) I'll get it.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 3, 2022 0:55:01 GMT -6
{The gate opens and Homestar walks in, dressed in his normal attire. Strong Bad is draped in regal garb.} Hey there, Strong Bad! Is it time for me to show up in your email show and deliver some quotable lines yet? Didn't you get the memo? We're kind of doing a fantasy-style thing here. Ah, gotcha. Let me consult my wardrobe. {A curtain lowers down in front of Homestar, and raises up to reveal he is dressed as a prancy squire with a lute.} Behold and good tidings, Lord Strong of Badia. I beseech unto thee dire hearings from amidst yonder townsfolk.
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Post by Honstlar on Nov 3, 2022 2:06:43 GMT -6
There are rumors that a great storm is heading towards the kingdom and it is very unlikely that their residences will be able to withstand the fury. It would be most wise if you would kindly allow the people to take shelter within the castle. Yeah, about that... There's a bit of a problem with that plan, I'm afraid. And what would that be? I don't give a rat's crap about the ugly little townsfolkins or their ugly little homes and for all I care, if those little homes are crushed beneath the weight of this storm, then it'll be doing the world a favor! But your majesty, just because you find something ugly on the outside doesn't mean it doesn't have something beautiful on the inside. No, I'm pretty sure it does. Wow, you are some kinda stubborn are you? It runs in the family. {In a far more booming voice} THEN YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE!! {Homestar removes his skin, revealing he is actually a wizard not to dissimilar to the Wireless Wizard from TGS #11.} What the crap?!?!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 10, 2022 21:09:10 GMT -6
WIZARD: I will bestow upon you a curse! A curse from which you will never psychologically recover! THE CURSIEST CURSE THAT EVER CURSED! You should tone it down then, this is a PG fairy tale. WIZARD: Until the great storm ceases, thou shalt suffer from mild allergic reactions to velvet! You will not be able to dwell within your castle's walls without risking itchy eyes or nasal congestion! That's really the worst curse you could think of? WIZARD: It was that, or scatter your cable reception for the next 24 hours. That would be kind of inconvenient, since this is before streaming is invented. Still, I can think of worse. I sense you're new at this wizarding stuff. WIZARD: What? No! I've wizarded for three-and-a-half months now, I'm basically a pro! Tell you what. I'll help you come up with cool new curses in exchange for... not being cursed. Deal?
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Post by Honstlar on Nov 10, 2022 22:23:07 GMT -6
Wizard: What kind of cool new curses? You know, like, maybe instead of making me allergic to velvet, you could turn me into a horrifying beast and make me unable to leave my castle's courtyard. Ooh, and make it so that the curse can be broken by true loves kiss, but if that doesn't happen by the time the last petal of the last flower in the castle garden falls, my heart explodes and I die! Wizard: Hmm, that sounds pretty good... Sweet! Wizard: ...but not good enough to spare you from it. Aw crap! Wizard: {Quickly} Oh, and everything in your castle will be possessed by the spirits of the townsfolk that die in the storm. Wait, what? Wizard: Unnamed Wizard, out! {The wizard explodes into a massive cloud of magic dust that envelops the castle.} {Narrating} CURSED BY A WIZARD'D!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 17, 2022 2:53:13 GMT -6
Aw man, even my own narration's turned against me? Not cool, narrator me, not cool. {The dust clears, revealing Strong Bad as a horrible monster.} Well, at least I look a lot cooler now! Now the problem is the whole heart-asplosion thing, which is equally cool but also death-inducing. It takes the local delivery place 2-4 business weeks for true love's kiss to arrive! I guess that serves me right for deliberately wilting the entire castle garden. Up until now I was eagerly awaiting the last petal falling! {voiceover} Yeah, me too! {turns around} Wait, WHO SAID THAT?
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Post by Honstlar on Nov 17, 2022 3:13:18 GMT -6
French Narrator: Ten Years Later... {Cut to Coach Z in a workshop, welding some metal.} Corm on, Zaurice, you'll finish this doodledad if it's the last thing you do!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jan 23, 2023 2:20:57 GMT -6
{He finishes welding and removes his welding mask. He lifts up his creation... a metal jock strap.} At last, my magnum opus is complete, and ready to be hung up in my ye olde lockere roome! {narrating} Aw, even in fairy tale form, Coach Z is still creepy and depressing?
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