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Post by Honstlar on Jan 23, 2023 5:21:27 GMT -6
{A knocking is heard} {offscreen} Uncle, I'm home! I'll be there in a second! {Pause.} Wait, aren't I supposed to be your frather in this story? Yeah, but one of the writers decided to retcon us into being related, so they changed your role in this story to make it fit. Oh, now I understornd. {Coach Z walks out of frame.}
{offscreen} Wow, who knew that Count Longeardeux had a thing for meta humor. {also offscreen, whispering} Shut up. {Cut to Coach E waiting outside Coach Z's workshop. The door opens.} Yer just in time for lornch!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Feb 13, 2023 3:17:48 GMT -6
{Coach Z scoops some breadcrumbs into a greasy paper bag and hands it to Coach E.} Oh, it's fine, I just ate. Suit yourself. {eats the paper bag} I just welded something real neat! Want to give it a try? Oh, it's fine, I just ate. Suit yourself. {doesn't eat the metal jock strap, that would be really weird and I don't want to reuse the same joke twice}
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Post by Honstlar on Feb 28, 2023 21:52:54 GMT -6
So, how's your day been going? The same as usual, returned some overdue library books, spun around on the hills for no reason, was the subject of an elaborate musical number about how everyone thinks it's weird that I'm literate, typical fairy tale protagonist stuff.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Mar 10, 2023 1:50:08 GMT -6
What about a quest? Every fairy tale protagonist needs a good quest. I'm not a fan of quests. Last time I went on one, I lost my shoe. And don't get me started on that time I was locked in an evil tower.
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Post by Honstlar on Apr 27, 2023 18:47:36 GMT -6
Was it as bad as when I was locked in an evil tower? That was a port-a-potty. Really? No wonder it smelled like- {A loud knocking is heard.} (offscreen) My love, you can't hide behind this locked door forever! Oh great, it's Gastonstlar.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on May 1, 2023 1:01:14 GMT -6
Oh good, has he come to sing the catchy song? That's all I remember about that character. {Gastonstlar pushes the door open and shoves roses in Coach E's face.} Behold, a plant! Will you marry me now? ...Because you bought a plant? Well I didn't buy it, I found it on the ground. As for the rest of your question, yeah! Surely you must concede I am irresistable now.
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Post by Honstlar on May 1, 2023 1:23:51 GMT -6
{Gastonstlar starts twisting the roses.} If I say yes, will you get these roses out of my face? Maaaayyyyyyyybe.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 4, 2023 0:17:38 GMT -6
I don't think she's into you yet. Try more roses! A brilliant hypothesis, Zaurice! I'M COMING FOR YOU, ROSES! {runs out the door} Thanks, uncle, that was a great way to get him out of here. It was? That was a genuine suggestion! How many more roses d'you think it'll take? Three? Maybe even five?
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Post by Honstlar on Jul 4, 2023 6:31:42 GMT -6
(Cut to Gastonstlar and his familiar looking sidekick picking roses.) Keep picking, Lestom! If I am to win over Erin, I must have as many roses as possible! I'm trying, Gastonstlar, but I keep pricking my fingers on the thorns. (Lestom takes his hands out of the bush. They are gray and slightly shriveled.) I've already lost about a liter of blood. Blood loss is no excuse! (Pause.) Except when it is. BUT IN THIS CASE, IT ISN'T! Okay, you're the boss. You got that right! No one yells at people like Gastonstlar! (Lestom pulls his arm out of another bush.) Uh, Gastonstlar, I think we've run out of roses to pick. You're right! Curse you, Mother Nature, how dare you interfere with my love quest! Now what do we do? I'm not sure. (Gastonstlar looks off to the side. A light bulb shaped like his head appears over him.) Hang on a second... (Cut to Gastonstlar looking at the Beast's castle from afar.) What do we have here? Gastonstlar, You're not thinking what I think you're thinking, are you? I think. But... that place is haunted! Oh please! Only fools believe in ghosts. Oh, it's not haunted by ghosts, it's haunted by something much, much worse. (Pause.) A double ghost? An 8-foot, eagle-clawed, hog-nosed, ram-horned, hoof-footed, monsterm'n.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Aug 5, 2023 1:47:46 GMT -6
{Cut to beastly Strong Bad roaming the spacious halls of his castle.} {voiceover} Oh grandma, what large teeth you have! Look, I've already asked a dozen times... who said that?! {voiceover} ...Oh wait, upon closer inspection, you're not my grandma. You appear to be some variety of oh-so-ghastly beast. Let's see how long I have before the whole heart-splosion begins to set in. {looks at a clock} Hiya. {startling back} AAAHHH!! My clock has come alife! Yeah, I can tell you the time of day at any time of the day. Even half past noon! I can't guarantee it'll be accurate, though. What are you doing in there? Oh, well I died in a storm a little while ago, and to be honest it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. 3/5 stars. Anyway, I can only assume I have reincantated in some kind of clock-themed afterlife. Man, this worse has gone from bad to curse.
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Post by Honstlar on Dec 27, 2023 23:59:08 GMT -6
{A rimshot is heard.} {Cut back to Gastonstlar and Lestom.} Oh please, that cutaway was pointless! And that beast didn't scare me either! {A candle shaped like Lestom appears over Gastonstlar's head.} But I know who it would scare!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jan 9, 2024 18:00:05 GMT -6
Time for another cutaway? No, not agai— {Cutaway to Coach E.} I should probably be doing something about now, but I forget how this story goes.
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Post by Honstlar on Jan 9, 2024 22:37:18 GMT -6
I know how ya feel. One time I was walking home from the French hardware store, but I forgot how my story went, so I got robbed blind by the Big Bad Wolf! I think he was in cahoots with the Dancing Brothers. {Two knocks are heard.} {Offscreen} Death trap- I mean, letter for Mr. Crazy Old Zaurice. That sounds like it could be me!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jan 25, 2024 2:37:41 GMT -6
{Zaurice opens the door and accepts the letter.} {reading} Dear Zaurice, you have been formally and totally legitimately invited to a dinner party at the big ol' castle over there. This is not fake, and is in fact very real. Sincerely, Strong Bad probably. {stops reading} This is incredible! I've always wanted to have dinner. Maybe I can even get funding for my weird and slightly depressing inventions from the reclusive Strong Bad! And I'm orf! {Cut to the castle.} Huh, there's no one here to greet me. In fact, there's no one here at all... Wow! I must be really importernt if I was the only person they borthered to invort!
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