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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 1, 2022 22:57:49 GMT -6
VOICE: I'll tell you what you'll do. You will reap the consequences of your reckless actions. {An otherworldly being levitates down to the Honstlars' level, shrouded in shadow and draped in the luminescence of the cosmos, with ethereal wings faded over the eons.}VOICE: Honstlar Waddler. We meet again. Who are you?! VOICE: You do not recognize me? I suppose that is to be expected... Much has changed, as you can see. Yeah, and it doesn't help that you're standing in the shadows. It's really hard to see you. VOICE: Fortunately for you, I am still just as generous as ever. I'll offer you, Honstlar... all of you Honstlars... one more chance to join me. What's in it for us? VOICE: You get to keep your consciousness, and I get to have some company in this infernal void. I still have no clue what's going on. VOICE: Eons ago, I was banished from my reality. I was forced to wander the interdimensional plane for millenia after millenia in search of my home... in search of my friends, who couldn't be bothered to save me. Trapped in the infinite, lost in time, I slowly lost my mind to its passing of untold ages. But this odyssey... it revealed something to me. I had visited millions of universes, each one more absurd than the last, most of which seemed beyond human comprehension. Reality, as it turns out, makes very little sense. All beings are set adrift in a realm they do not understand, and to see these new sides of it... eventually I could do nothing but give up. Once I accepted the arbitrary meaningless of existence, I was set free. I found a new purpose. If I could not find my friends, I would make new ones out of this cosmic matter I deemed meaningless. I spent lifetimes acquiring dimensional power, until I was able to destroy this reality and rewrite it to my will. I created a new Earth. A new Free Country, USA. A new Broternal Order of Different Helmets... and I, its Supreme Overlord. {The being emerges from the shadows, revealing a white underbitten face and blue bowler hat. Red light spills out of his eyes and mouth.} You're... another Honstlar?! VOICE: Not another Honstlar. The same Honstlar, from eons in the future — or I would be, had I not discarded that name long ago. You may call me Enygfa'bu the Everlasting.
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Post by Honstlar on Jul 1, 2022 23:57:55 GMT -6
Aaaaaand now I think I've peed myself. {Cut to the Poopsmith standing in front of a large American flag. He is wearing an army helmet.} Men, your mission is simple; Scour the multiverse and find Honstlar!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 9, 2022 20:47:59 GMT -6
{Cut to a reverse shot of the Poopertroopers.}POOPERTROOPER: What if we don't find him? Then keep looking! POOPERTROOPER: What if we still don't find him after that? Keep looking even more! POOPERTROOPER: What if we don't find him even then? Give up, I guess. {Cut to the Poopsmith, who holds up a Taranchula Black Metal Detector.} We've modified these metal detectors so that instead of detecting metal, they detect weird, short, purple-clothed, underbitten fellows. POOPERTROOPER: How'd you manage that? We turned the dial from "metal" to "weird, short, purple-clothed, underbitten fellows". We also equipped them with Game Boys in blenders, allowing for multidimensional travel. POOPERTROOPER: Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me. Let's get started!
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Post by Honstlar on Jul 9, 2022 21:54:12 GMT -6
Company... MARCH!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Aug 1, 2022 18:21:48 GMT -6
{Cut to the Old-Timey universe. Poopertroopers scour the area, and heavy metal music starts to play.}POOPERTROOPER: Yo guys, I think I've got something. {The music quickens as the trooper walks forward. A squeedly guitar plays as he approaches The Honstlar Waddler.}THE HONSTLAR WADDLER: Salutations, multicolored martians! Please don't destroy our planet, it's where I keep all my depression-era grains and wilted leaves. POOPERTROOPER: This doesn't seem like the guy we're looking for. {Cut to Poopertroopers wandering along a crystal road through a digital landscape. They meet Honstlar.}POOPERTROOPER: Yo, we found the guy. {Honstlar's face opens up, and seventeen eyeball stalks emerge.} X̴̞̦̋̀E̸͙̯͗̇̈́K̷͉̋̇̃'̸̱̓͘Ṁ̶̩̹̾̎ͅM̵̪̤͙̀͗̀ ̴̏ͅW̵̜͊͆̊H̸̗̟̉?̴̯̌͆͛͠A̵̦̜̞̒̅͝Ĺ̵̡̊ ̶̛͓̲̘͘͝͠ͅ'̸̭͌̌̏̽T̴̯͎̓̀͘H̸̡͕̼͂̃͝ͅL̴̺̲͍̫̓̈́͗ ̷̖͉̔͌̽̏Q̶̤̩̝̀̈́͐̓ ̴̩̤̗̋8̷͙̬̔̔Y̵̛̗̎̕.̸̼̽͑̍POOPERTROOPER: Aw man, it's just another one of his multiversal counterparts. Let's go. {Cut to them in what appears to Free Country, USA.}POOPERTROOPER: Dude, isn't this just where we came from? ANOTHER POOPERTROOPER: It's apparently, like, a different universe. I think we'll find the real Honstlar here. You are correct. The Honstlar you seek dwells within this reality. Come join us for all eternity, you will enjoy it ever so much.
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Post by Honstlar on Aug 1, 2022 19:25:38 GMT -6
Poopertrooper: Uh oh, we got a 1265. Another Poopertrooper: Someone puked in a urinal? Poopertrooper: No, that's a 5349! 1265 is code for evil cosmic impostors! Another Poopertrooper: Bumping back flash! ATTACK!!! {The Poopertroopers hold their shovels the wrong way and fire Gfd, revealing him to be the pulsating cosmic void from earlier.}
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Aug 8, 2022 23:24:53 GMT -6
{The Poopertroopers are attacked by more cosmic impostors.} You have wasted a glorious opportunity. I have no sympathy for you. You will meet your end at the hands of my cosmic clones. {Anti-Gfd transforms into a giant mouth and begins gobbling up Poopertroopers, but they retaliate with their flameshovels.}{Anti-Greg draws in his sketchbook, and a large Eldritch monstrosity with spider legs emerges.}POOPERTROOPER: I don't like that thing. {The monstrosity rampages across the battlefield, fusing to any Poopertrooper it touches.}FUSED POOPERTROOPER: AAGHH, it's like my bones are all broken and taped back together! And with scotch tape, no less! This is the price you must pay for invading my universe and waging war.
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Post by Honstlar on Oct 29, 2022 23:22:17 GMT -6
POOPERTROOPER: Hey, you're the ones who kidnapped the purple guy!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Oct 30, 2022 1:37:03 GMT -6
{Enygfa'bu reveals himself.}ENYGFA'BU: So it is the purple guy you want. Very well. I no longer have any use for him. {runs toward the Poopertroopers} Oh my goodness! It's you! Are... are you real? POOPERTROOPER: Yeah. Uh, I don't know how to prove it, though. That's okay, just take me out of here! Now! POOPERTROOPER: {into a walkie-talkie} We got him. Repeat, we got him. {Cut to Free Country, USA. The Poopertroopers warp back with Honstlar.} HONSTLAR! You're back!! I sure am! I'm sorry it took so long to find you. You must've had quite the journey. Can you tell us about it? Funny story, I don't actually remember much of it. I'm just glad to be back! Let's go back to the Hatquarters and celebrate with waffles! {Honstlar smiles at the camera, a cosmic glint appearing in his eye. Cut back to Enygfa'bu's universe.}ENYGFA'BU: Wonderful. The soldiers have led me right to their universe. Now I may exact my revenge. {voiceover} Revenge? Against what? {Enygfa'bu turns toward Honstlar, who is tied up with cosmic strings sewn through portals.}ENYGFA'BU: Against the Broternal Order, for leaving me to wander the chaos of the multiverse for eons. But mostly against you. You've led your world's soldiers right to my front door. If it's war you want, Honstlar Waddler... war is what you'll get. What?! Those guys were just trying to find me, I didn't even know they would come here! ENYGFA'BU: Convenient that they arrived just after I captured you. And that they started destroying my cosmic clones unprovoked. That is pretty convenient. {Enygfa'bu looks through a portal to Free Country, USA.}ENYGFA'BU: This clone of yours, the one from your future... it is the only one able to discern my illusions. So I decided it was better to take hold of its mind and use it in my plan then let it interfere. That's complicated. What happened to the other Honstlars? ENYGFA'BU: I have no use for them, so I banished them to another dimension. What use do you have for me? ENYGFA'BU: I want you here to witness the collapse of your world, as it descends into battle against forces it cannot comprehend. Then I will send you to join your alternate selves in their suffering.
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Post by Honstlar on Oct 30, 2022 2:50:16 GMT -6
Is it at least one with decent air conditioning? 'Cause I gotta be honest with you, this place would almost be tolerable if it wasn't so hot. ENYGFA'BU: It's not sup- (Enygfa'bu clenches his fist, which begins to glow.)
ENYGFA'BU: -POSED TO BE TOLERABLE!!
(Honstlar starts screaming and convulsing in pain as the cosmic strings begin to suck the life from him.) Make it stop! ENYGFA'BU: I won't need to, for once I lure the prime Honstlar into harnessing the Casuo energy, I will ensure my true existence, leaving no further need for me to use your energy to maintain this false one. Wait, I thought I was the prime Honstlar! ENYGFA'BU: No, you are merely Honstlar Sub-Prime. The true Honstlar is likely still somewhere out in the omniverse, but when I do find him, then your universe will become my domain, and all the others will be destroyed, thus officially making me the ruler of all creation.
You... {enrages} You soulless, demonic monstrosity! You don't belong in any universe, let alone mine! ENYGFA'BU: Oh, I'm sorry, I don't remember asking for your opinion!! (Enygfa'bu uses his powers to increase the pain dealt to the alternate timeline Honstlar, who resumes screaming.) ENYGFA'BU: There's no use screaming, your existence will be negated long before the pain subsides. Now I will leave you to your fate, Honstlar-36J25. You've been a great host, and I'm sure you'll be very happy that I saved you from the eternal pain of being me.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 24, 2022 1:38:04 GMT -6
{Enygfa'bu floats away from Honstlar, laughing maniacally.} I've got to escape these torturous bindings! Not only is the multiverse is in danger, but I'm itchy! {Honstlar thinks for a moment, closing his eyes...} Wait. I think... I feel something. A power... have I felt it before? {Cut to a flashback of Honstlar destroying Xar'ak in Order vs. Chaos.} {voiceover} What I used to defeat Xar'ak... that wasn't just Homsar's power, was it? {Fade to another flashback of Honstlar awakening in another dimension.} {voiceover} And surviving the universal collapse... it shouldn't have been possible. Unless... {Fade to another flashback of the BODH fighting Grindolo.} {voiceover} After all the challenges we've faced, we always succeed. I always succeed. Almost as if... {Fade to another flashback of Honstlar meeting Enygfa'bu.} {voiceover} Enygfa'bu is just another version of me, isn't he? If he has power like that, then... {Cut back to Honstlar. A red glow eminates around him as he opens his eyes, the same cosmic void appearing within them.} I must have that power too. {Blinding light pierces through the realm as Honstlar teleports to another dimension, only to end up in a war-torn battlefield.} Wait, what's this? ENYGFA'BU: {echoey voiceover} Very clever. Harnessing the evil within you to escape... I only discovered it after I had lived a hundred years. But you're too late. My machinations have begun to unfold. War has broken out between dimensions, Honstlar, and all that you know will soon end. {Cut to a wide shot of the destruction and chaos. Honstlar stands in the center of it all, shocked and saddened. Enygfa'bu laughs as text reading "To be continued..." appears near the bottom of the screen.}
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