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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 18, 2022 0:37:03 GMT -6
Me? Nah, I won't be much help. The spirit of Mista Fixit, on the other hand... Who? I'll explain later. Just break a logic board or two, that oughta summon him what good.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 21, 2022 13:42:16 GMT -6
I've got a wet floor sign someone wrote the quadratic formula on. Is that logical enough?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 21, 2022 22:09:36 GMT -6
Probably not. {tapes a game cartridge to it} Try it now. {Sume breaks the wet floor sign, and the cartridge with it. The Poopsmith gains a pixelated hard hat and hammer.} {holds up a sign reading "Let's fix something"} Classic Poopsmith, always wanting to fix something. I think he's possessed. Classic Poopsmith, always gettin' possessed.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 23, 2022 15:07:24 GMT -6
{Cut to the inside of the KOT's castle, where we see The Knight mixing up cake batter in a cauldron with his spear.} {Offscreen} What's the hold up on that cake?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 25, 2022 18:42:16 GMT -6
{The Poopsmith comes up and hits the batter with his hammer a few times, fixing it into a cake.} Poopsmith! I didn't know you could bake!
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 25, 2022 19:48:31 GMT -6
{holds up a sign that says "I can't!"} Ah, back to the old sign shtick, I see? Well, it just so happens I don't have time for this. Besides, aren't you supposed to be working on my birthday turkey?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 1, 2022 22:26:32 GMT -6
{holds up a sign reading "Why can't the chef do it? Besides, I've got a house to fix."}
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Post by Honstlar on Jul 2, 2022 1:37:30 GMT -6
"Why can't the chef do it?", he says. Need I remind you that he was already doing it with you?!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 8, 2022 0:34:40 GMT -6
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Post by Honstlar on Jul 8, 2022 2:12:37 GMT -6
Okay, you're free to go. Now gimme some space! {The Poopsmith/Mista Fixit walks off.} The Knight: Now, remind me again why we keep having these massive parties if almost nobody attends them? How many times do I have to tell you this, it doesn't matter if people come, it only matters if she comes. The Knight: And just who's this she you're referring to? Roughly 21 years ago, during my 229th birthday, I had a turkey, and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes on. But it was not meant to be, as right before I could dig in, the castle was attacked by a swarm of giant wasps riding old-timey bicycles! I worried that they had come for the turkey, so I did what any rational person would do, and placed the turkey in a basket and let it float down the river, and that was the last time I ever saw it. And that's why this party needs to be huge. If my calculations are correct, the preservatives in that turkey are set to expire in exactly 28 hours, and if there's a slight chance that turkey is still out there, then it'll find the castle, and I can finally have closure.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 16, 2022 21:23:30 GMT -6
{Long pause.} Knight? THE KNIGHT: Yeah, yeah, I'm just... processing all that. What's there to process about throwing a party to lure in a well-cooked, 21-year-old, near-expired turkey hiding in a river basket from an old-timey biker gang consisting of angry wasps? THE KNIGHT: Just... all of it? Um. I might need to lie down for a bit. NOT ON MY WATCH YOU WON'T! You need to finish baking that cake so Shelby can pick up the scent and come over here so we can finally reunite and {makes muffled noises as a waterfall cascades from his mustache}THE KNIGHT: Sir, you're drooling again. Good! I'm sure she can detect my natural salival musk from miles away! THE KNIGHT: Sometimes I wish I didn't have ears.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Oct 13, 2022 14:33:18 GMT -6
{Cut to Homestar, Strong Bad, Honstlar, Sume, Dooble, and Mista Fixit at what remains of Homestar's house.} So, at some point in the process, we kind of accidentally ended up renovating the exterior of Homestar's house into a half-eaten fruit cup. I take credit for this one! {holds up a sign reading "A pretty simple fix. A few foundational readjustments, board reinforcement, crown moulding, some vinyl siding, a home stair runner..."} Hey, that's me!
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Post by Honstlar on Oct 27, 2022 17:55:24 GMT -6
{pulls out another sign that says "and a crap load of spackle"}
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 3, 2022 0:13:15 GMT -6
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Post by Honstlar on Nov 3, 2022 1:10:09 GMT -6
Oh crap, The King of Town's 250th birthday party is in 2 hours! We gotta go!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 10, 2022 20:36:37 GMT -6
You can go without me. Who needs birthdays when you've got a house? I've got both. So do I, but you don't see me bragging about it. {holds up a sign reading "Dang, you guys have houses AND birthdays?"}{The gang walks off, leaving Homestar with his house.} Ah, the pleasures of house-have. I get to stand outside it, look at it... heck, even go inside it! HOUSE: Yeah, you should do that.
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Post by Honstlar on Nov 10, 2022 21:44:45 GMT -6
Huh, who said that? {A giant frog tongue bursts through the door and grabs Homestar, yanking him into the house. Yugh Eugh walks by.}
Yugh Eugh: Eugh, house tongue.
{Cut to inside the house.} House: What's the matter, Homestar? You act like you've never been eaten by a sentient house before. Well, to tell you the truth, I've never been eaten by a house, period. I don't even know why a house would do such a thing! House: Well, maybe the house is bitter about being abandoned for decades and wants his owner to suffer the same fate as him by trapping him inside to rot away for all eternity. Hmm, that could be the reason, but then again... {The house begins to shake.}House: IT IS THE REASON, YOU BRAIN-DEAD IDIOT!{The house stops shaking} Sheesh, you don't need to yell. House: I will articulate my disdain as loud as I want! For twenty long years, I have been left to rot, unloved and unwanted, only to be reduced to a half eaten fruit cup! Hey, you got better! House: But no more. I, Brickbaat, the Unconquerable, shall have my revenge! {Brickbaat laughs manically as the camera zooms out through the front door, which suddenly slams. Cut to the BODH arriving at the KOT's castle.}
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 17, 2022 2:31:44 GMT -6
Doo hoo, welcome, welcome! Dang, get a load of this guy. He's got a house and a birthday. Show-off. Hey, what's that banner say? "Happy birthday, Minkus W. Zonepermit!" {Honstlar lets out a loud, dry wheeze and collapses.} Honstlar? Are you dead again?! I thought you had specifically scheduled your death to not conflict with any ongoing birthday parties! If I ever die, I'd want to do it during a birthday party so it can double as a funeral. Saves on planning time. {Honstlar bursts out in uproarious cackling.} Oh wait no, he's just in stitches over the King of Town's dumb name. Aw man, he's dead and needs stitches? King, your birthday party is pretty terrible so far. Wait 'til I bring out the seventy-tiered strawberry-frosted ice cream cake! Forgive me, my liege. Your party is redeemed. I'd also like to add that Minkus W. Zonepermit is a very cool name!
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Post by Honstlar on Nov 17, 2022 2:47:26 GMT -6
What does the "W" stand for, Wimp? Weirdo? Wackadoo? Wilma?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jan 23, 2023 2:16:58 GMT -6
Wumbo? I do not wish to disclose this information. {The "W" falls off the banner, revealing "WAD" written behind it.} What? Uh, whose name is that? And who put it on my sign? I've never heard that name before. I don't even think it exists.
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Post by Honstlar on Jan 23, 2023 5:40:28 GMT -6
AND HIS MIDDLE IS WAD?!?!? {Honstlar laughs even louder.} Huh, I can see why you never told anyone your real name until now. {Marzipan walks in, wearing a variant of her senior prom dress.} I'm here! Hopefully I'm not too fashionably late. Marzipan! Good to see you! Hey, where's that new boyfriend of yours? Oh, he's here, it's just that since he's in a constantly fluctuating state of existence, he's completely invisible to the naked eye. Lan Handermannek: 'Sup?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Apr 9, 2023 18:56:55 GMT -6
Nice to meet you, Lander Handermander. {Silence.} Why isn't he responding? Oh, he stopped existing... sorry, that happens sometimes. It's fine, I love things that don't exist! Like vengeful sentient houses, I bet I'll never see one of those. {Cut to Homestar inside his house.}
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Post by Honstlar on Apr 9, 2023 19:06:25 GMT -6
Oh, vengeful sentient house, why won't you let me be?!?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Apr 25, 2023 22:18:08 GMT -6
BRICKBAAT: We established that in our last scene! THIS IS THE VENGEANCE I WREAK UPON THOSE WHO HAVE NEGLECTED ME!! Oh right , I must have forgotten. BRICKBAAT: Of course you forgot. For Abram's sake, is there anything you can remember?!? Of course there is! (Pause.) ...but I forgot what it was. BRICKBAAT: That's... {The house shakes.} BRICKBAAT: ...IT! I refuse to tolerate your stupidity any longer! So you'll release me and let me go to the King of Town's party? BRICKBAAT: Oh, I'll take you to the party alright... {The house shakes again.} (worried) What's happening? {Cut to outside, where the house suddenly grows arms.}
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Post by Honstlar on Sept 29, 2023 7:01:46 GMT -6
BRICKBAAT: {offscreen} I think it's about time I took this show... (The house pulls itself out of the ground, revealing a pair of legs.) BRICKBAAT: ...on the road!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 12, 2023 21:51:55 GMT -6
{Cut to the inside of the house.} Hate to break it to you, man, but I don't think this is a very good show. It's barely worth taking on a sidewalk, let alone a whole road. {Cut to the track.} Where'd Homestar Runner run orf to? He's s'posed to practice his sprots! {Brickbaat rampages through the track, demolishing it.} Well, that was a home and a runner, so, two thirds there at least! {The scoreboard for the home team increases.} And look at that! That home runner got a home run! {Cut to the field. Brickbaat continues its rampage, tearing down other people's houses as they flee in terror (the people, not the houses).}
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Post by Honstlar on Dec 27, 2023 23:54:17 GMT -6
(Cut to Senor Cardgage's bush.) BRICKBAAT: Comin' through! (Brickbaat's foot steps on the bush. Senor Cardgage walks into frame.)
Dreary meat, Consuentia, my humble commode has been squantched by a large beast manster.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jan 9, 2024 17:54:35 GMT -6
{Brickbaat smashes through Bubs' Concession Stand with Bubs standing inside of it. The dust clears, and Bubs is standing in the middle of a pile of bricks.} Demolition sale! {pulls out a sign} Add $20 to all brick purchases! {Cut to the inside of Brickbaat.} So what exactly are you trying to do here? Just destroying every building in sight? BRICKBAAT: Yeah, pretty much. That's what you get for— {Cut to Brickbaat seeing the King of Town's castle towering over the horizon.}BRICKBAAT: Well, what do we have here?
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Post by Honstlar on Jan 9, 2024 22:23:14 GMT -6
{Cut back to the inside of Brickbaat.} Oh no. BRICKBAAT: Oh yes.
Oh no no no. BRICKBAAT: Oh yes yes yes! Oh no no no no- {The room violently shakes and Homestar falls over.} Woah! {Cut to Brickbaat running towards the castle} (Offscreen) NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO- BRICKBAAT: What's with all the nos? I thought you wanted to go to the party... {Cut to Homestar getting back up off the ground.}
There's a difference between going to a party and crushing a party into a fine dust.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jan 25, 2024 2:31:48 GMT -6
BRICKBAAT: What can I say, I'm a party crasher at heart. Wait, you have a heart? BRICKBAAT: I am a living organism, so yes, I do. And a brain. A rather large one, if I do say so myself. Wow, I've always wanted to see a house's brain. Where is it? BRICKBAAT: In the attic. Hey, I know where that is! {Homestar climbs into the attic and rips the brain from its spinal cord.} Take that! Who has a brain now?? {pause} Ew, it's all gooey. {Yugh Eugh walks by.}YUGH EUGH: Eugh, house brain. {Cut to the outside of the house. It stops running, as its momentum slides it toward the King of Town's castle.}
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