|
Post by Honstlar on May 26, 2022 23:26:26 GMT -6
{Dangeresque appears onscreen... Now.} Ha-ha! That ought to keep her busy for about... {pulls out a pocket watch with his face engraved on it.} 45 minutes. Now what's do's we's do's?
|
|
|
Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 1, 2022 0:13:53 GMT -6
I'll tell you what's do's we's do's, Too-D... I like that nickname, please use it more often. ...No. We have to get the team back together, and travel around the world to weaken Perducci's no-armed grasp! I thought you liked to work alone, except when you work with Renaldo, which is all the time. Well, that list has expanded to include you, Cutesy Buttons, Diamonocle, Experimento, Methodemew, Cool Cool Glasses Erin, Doctor Prisma, The Sweepster, Dad, a new Reesy Cup to replace the one that was stolen earlier, and of course my trusty nunchuck gun. Right, but other than working with them all the time, you work alone. Exactly.
|
|
|
Post by Honstlar on Jun 1, 2022 0:21:15 GMT -6
{Musical sting, then cut to Perducci.} I still can't believe I finally did it. Izu: Did what? Conquer the world before Dangeresque could stop you? No, I can't believe I finally convinced Killingyouguy to get a black singlet! That purple one is sooooo 4 movies ago.
|
|
|
Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 11, 2022 21:43:46 GMT -6
BLACK IS THE NEW PURPLE IS THE NEW BLACK!! Honestly, that was my main goal this whole time. The world domination thing is just kinda the cherry on top. IZU: {looking at a screen} The reports are in. World governments have been toppled, crime is running rampant, and all law enforcement has been arrested, just as planned. Dangeresque and his friends' whereabouts, however, are unaccounted for. Of course... he's always up to something, isn't he? Deploy the Killingyoubots. We will find him. IZU: Do those have black singlets too? Oh, for sure.
|
|
|
Post by Honstlar on Jul 2, 2022 1:48:58 GMT -6
Izu: Can I get a black singlet? Maybe...
|
|
|
Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 8, 2022 0:48:59 GMT -6
{Cut to Dangeresque at Experimento's lab, where he has reunited with most of his allies.} {looking at a computer} It's worse than we thought. Perducci has set up criminal bases in just about every nation. {bubbles; subtitled} (We'll need to travel around the globe to weaken his grasp.) But the criminals have hijacked all the airplanes! We won't have enough time to free each nation before Perducci's global domination becomes irreversible. Does anymandy half a fresh subwich? Good point, Dad, all we need is the, uh, air... sub... marine. Surely you don't mean...? We have no other choice, Renaldo. We're driving to Nevada and recruiting an old "friend".
|
|
|
Post by Honstlar on Jul 8, 2022 2:45:45 GMT -6
But you're not gonna like it...
|
|
|
Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 16, 2022 21:54:41 GMT -6
{Cut to Las Vegas. The DangeCar-esque arrives, and everyone emerges from the vehicle.} That was an incredibly short drive! That's because it happened between scenes, Renaldo. So where exactly are we going? I have a history with the richest man in Vegas, owner of the city's sleaziest casino. The man who's won a thousand bets and lost none. He acquired wealth through his shady underground dealings, but was never caught. I meant, like, where specifically? In terms of directions? You'll get your answer soon. {walks up to a stranger} Excuse me, do you have directions to The Casino? PERSON: Is that with a capital The? Yes, The Casino. PERSON: I'm not sure why you'd want to go there, but... it's north from 27th street, turn right and— {The person is handcuffed and dragged a way by a man in prisoner garb and a bandit mask.}PERSON: Hey, what are you doing?! I'm innocent! BANDIT: That's exactly why we're arresting you! Perducci's out of control. Not only is he letting criminals roam free, but now he's arresting anyone who isn't a criminal! We have to go undercover. But you are a criminal, so you should be fine. On the contrary. Perducci wants me locked up more than anyone. {bubbles} (Wait, if not committing crime is a crime, doesn't that make us criminals so we can't be arrested?) Don't think about it too hard, Perducci can't wrap his mind around loopholes. He'll come after us either way.
|
|
|
Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Oct 13, 2022 14:52:57 GMT -6
{Cut to the interior of an expansive casino, adorned with pool tables, slot machines, and crazed gamblers.} So who's this rich guy we's meetin'? He's probably seen me through the security cameras, and is coming to greet us as we speak. Most likely accompanied by armed bodyguards. {A sketchy man in a white tuxedo and mustache walks toward the team, accompanied by armed bodyguards.} Mr. Vegas. Dangeresque. You've got a lot of guts comin' back here after what you pulled. I don't like this any more than you do, but I'm afraid I've got no choice. We won't stand a chance getting the world out of crisis unless we team up. I take it you two have a history? Like I said, Mr. Vegas financed his casino through shady back-alley dealings, pawned off to the highest bidder... usually, me. That is, until I found a better supplier and had no use for Mr. Vegas's illegal wares, and reported his black market to the police. Then what? His prison sentence didn't last long, since he was a millionaire and owns all the city's prisons... but he still didn't take his arrest well, and made an attempt on my life. I survived, and we called a bitter truce. A truce that has been violated by your arrival, might I add. I suggest you join us. I don't suppose you'd want the public to know about your rigged slot machines...
|
|
|
Post by Honstlar on Nov 3, 2022 18:46:57 GMT -6
Everyone with half a brain knows that all slot machines are rigged! That's why I target those with only 4/10ths of a brain! Okay, then I'll tell them about the so-called preservatives in the iced tea you serve!
|
|
|
Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 13, 2022 2:17:48 GMT -6
As if that would make a dent in my quarterly profits. Speak away. Then go away. Hey, what's that over there? {Bandits come in, steal the slot machines, and run out.} What the—? Thieves! I'M CALLING THE POLICE! Police can't do nothing to 'em, Mr. Vegas. Perducci made all crime legal. So? If crime is legal, I'll just hire someone to steal my stuff back. With what money? {Mr. Vegas looks around. The entire contents of his casino and money vault have been emptied out.} {long sigh} What do you need? Your air-submarine. It's the only way we can get to each nation fast enough to free them from Perducci's grasp. Fine. It's in the back. That's funny, I could've sworn I'm currently seeing it up there. {The submarine flies off, piloted by two robots in black singlets.} Killingyoubots. Of course.
|
|
|
Post by Honstlar on Nov 13, 2022 2:29:09 GMT -6
Killingyoubot #1: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! Killingyoubot #2: I THOUGHT WE AGREED TO SAY THAT RESISTANCE IS USELESS! Killingyoubot #1: THEY MEAN THE SAME THING! Killingyoubot #2: BUT USELESS JUST SOUNDS BETTER!
|
|
|
Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jan 20, 2023 16:09:41 GMT -6
Experimento, can you give me a hand? Or more specifically, a bulbous torso? {bubbles}{Dangeresque jumps up, lands on Experimento, and bounces off to reach the air-submarine.} Sorry, Killingyoubots. It's time for... er, quippy one-liner. KILLINGYOUBOT #1: THAT'S THE BEST YOU COULD COME UP WITH? It won't matter, 'cause soon you'll be reduced to smoldering metal. KILLINGYOUBOT #1: THAT'S BETTER. KILLINGYOUBOT #2: WE WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN. WE HAVE BLACK SINGLETS AND ARE VERY COOL.
|
|
|
Post by Honstlar on Jan 21, 2023 22:48:03 GMT -6
You may be cool, but I'm cool-cool.... {Zoom in on Dangeresque.} ...glasses.
|
|
|
Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Feb 13, 2023 2:00:52 GMT -6
{An extremely cool and well-choreographed fight scene occurs. There are many expensive CG explosions. The Killingyoubots fire lasers in all directions until they are reduced to smoldering scraps of metal. Dangeresque lands the air-submarine next to his team.} That was quick. Yeah, I couldn't really think of anything funny or interesting to happen during that part. Get in. Hey, what are you doing flying my air-submarine?! I don't trust you to fly it. You'd ditch us and fly off the first chance you'd get. You think there's a chance in heck I'd trust you to fly it?! Do you trust me to fly it? NO. So you both distrust me equally. It's a perfect compromise! {sits in the pilot's seat} Strap in everyone. I've never driven anything before, this might be a bumpy ride. I don't do well on flights. Do we have any paper bags? I'll need them for hyperventilation and two or three other reasons.
|
|
|
Post by Honstlar on Mar 5, 2023 4:09:17 GMT -6
I have a crumpled up Kay-Bee Toys sack, will that work?
|
|
|
Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on May 16, 2023 23:26:17 GMT -6
It depends. Will moist chunks of half-digested lasagna be able to seep through? ...Actually, I think I'll keep this to myself and sit as far from you as possible. So which country should we free from Perducci's anarchy first?
|
|
|
Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Aug 13, 2023 2:05:16 GMT -6
{Cut to Perducci's lair, now furnished with priceless antiquities from across the globe.} Izu Zabooka! How fare the Killingyoubots? {Izu is brooding in silence, operating a technological panel as it blinks red. A beeping signal flatlines.} They've... been bested. Ah, no prob. We can always make and send more! And we'll give 'em each two black singlets this time! {Pause.} ...Zabooka? You're seeming more dark and broody than usual. Everything good? We've succeeded in taking over the world, what else is there to worry about? {Cut to Izu, back turned to Perducci as he solemnly faces the wall. He sighs.} This whole time, I've wanted one thing more than anything. Dangeresque dead. Yet at every turn, he slips through our grasp. He's crafty, I'll give him that... but we're the most powerful people on the planet. We've got friends in every country who will find him and dislocate his husky head at our beck and call. We've got the technology to burn him to a crisp. Yet he lives... How? Why?? Jeez, didn't know you hated Dangeresque so much. What'd he do to ya? I... looked up to him, once. It all came crashing down when I let my admiration for him come between me and my true desire... to get the high score in Rig Rug. It was finally within reach... I shouldn't have trusted him, but I did, and that decision cost me everything. The Feds dragged me away and I was left to rot in prison. Since then, killing Dangeresque has been my new high score... I want him to feel what it's like to press up and the player 2 button on the stage select screen!! You seem tense. I should take ya's on a vacation to Lobasho sometime! Put on some water shoes and take a dip in the lake, you won't regret it! I don't need a vacation! I need to try harder! I need to end Dangeresque once and for all! And I need to do it... {brandishes a knife} myself. {leaves the building}
|
|
|
Post by Honstlar on Nov 9, 2023 3:34:44 GMT -6
{Pause.} So that's a no on the double singlets?
|
|
|
Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 12, 2023 23:19:02 GMT -6
{A red line is drawn across a map from Nevada to Quebec. Cut to Dangeresque Too landing the air-submarine in a snowbank.} Good thinkin', Too. We'll liberate the Great White North from Perducci's invisible grasp first, and their maple syrup will give us the strength to free all the other nations! I hear that no-good délinquant Stingy Relenque's up to his old tricks around here. Keep both eyes open, his multicolored light-'em-up hair accessories blend in surprisingly well with his surroundings. And dorn't forgort that traitor Dangergsgxgzgdrc Johnson! I think he's been to Canada a few times. Wartch out, we might run into him too! That might be a good thing. He's working for Perducci right now, but we can get him back on our side. Didn't he betray us in the last movie? He can't be trusted. D. Johnson has no loyalty, he follows whoever pays him the most. And right now, we have... hey Vegas, how much money you got? {checks in his gold wallet} With most of my fortune robbed, I've just got a measly thousand bucks. That should be enough. Hey, I never agreed to give away my money! If you want your casino and fortune back, you will. Now let's go stand on guard for thee... Or, whatever Canadians do.
|
|
|
Post by Honstlar on Dec 18, 2023 0:27:56 GMT -6
(Cut to ouside the air-sub. A hatch opens.) Are you sure we have to wear these disguises?
|
|
|
Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Dec 19, 2023 3:19:28 GMT -6
We have to blend in with the Québécois to avoid getting caught by {lifts his fist to the sky} PERDUCCIIII!! {Cut to the gang wearing curly wigs wrapped in Christmas lights, and sweaters with maple leaves on them, holding mugs of Hot Jones.} {bubbles} (Do people in Canada really dress like this?) I feel like a Canadian disguise should just be like, a toque or something. And maybe swap out the Hot Jones for Tim Horton's. Now, most of the people here speak French, but they should understand us fine as long as we integrate "eh" into our sentence somewhere. Allow me to demonstrate. {Dangeresque approaches a passersby.} Excusez voi, but do you know where Perducci's Canadian headquarters is, eh? PASSERSBY: Pourquoi tu ne portes pas de tuque?
|
|
|
Post by Honstlar on Dec 19, 2023 5:32:41 GMT -6
Pass the what now? Oh right, forgot to activate the holo-subtitle function on my Global Satellite Positioning Tracker Keeper. {Dangeresque pulls out a large tablet and taps the screen.} Boop.
|
|
|
Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Dec 29, 2023 2:48:09 GMT -6
PASSERSBY: {speaking French; subtitled} (Thank you, now I can understand what I'm saying.) You couldn't before? PASSERSBY: {speaking French; subtitled} (French is a difficult language. It's like 90% vowel sounds.) STINGY RELENQUE: {offscreen} Onh honh honh! {subtitled as "(French laughter)"}{Pan over to reveal Stingy Relenque standing nearby.}STINGY RELENQUE: {subtitled} With ze power of subtitles on my side, no one will be able to stop me! {Stingy hops into a Hot Jones tanker truck and drives off.} He's getting away! Maybe he can lead us to Perducci's Canadian headquarters! After him! {They all hop into the car and chase him.}
|
|
|
Post by Honstlar on Dec 29, 2023 5:23:43 GMT -6
Anyone else think that Stinky Relink guy looks familiar? Yeah, he kinda looks like my dad.
|
|
|
Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jan 9, 2024 17:42:30 GMT -6
{Cut to Stingy speaking into a VCR car phone.}STINGY RELENQUE: Pèrducci! I'll meet you at the château in five minutes! {Cut to the DangeCar-esque.} Aw man, I wasn't looking at the subtitles. What'd he say? See, this is why I prefer dorbs to sorbs. Don't worry about it, I'm basically fluent in French. "Château" is a combination of "chat" and "eau"... which means he's meeting Perducci at the catwater!! {Cut to a small bowl of water sitting on the ground next to a large building.} {shouting into the bowl} Mr. Relenque? Are you in there? Can you let us in? We just, uh, want your autograph, that's all. {The Hot Jones tanker truck drives past them and parks nearby. Stingy leaves the truck and enters the building.} Ohhh, I see. This building must be called the catwater. {Zoom out to reveal a "Perducci's" sign above the door.} "Perducci's"? Weird name for a building.
|
|
|
Post by Honstlar on Feb 17, 2024 23:07:27 GMT -6
I don't know. Personally, I kinda like the sound of- {He looks up and shakes his fist} PERDUCCI'S!
|
|
|
Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Feb 20, 2024 2:26:15 GMT -6
Well, if it was called that, they would've written it in all caps. Looks like all we have to do is sneak into the headquarters, hide this bomb somewhere, and get the crap outta dodge before the building collapses, thus liberating Canada from Perducci's control. But we have to do it without being seen! {offscreen} Too late. {Dangergsgxgzgdrc Johnson emerges from the shadows.} Perducci hired me to beat up anyone who attempts to sneak into the headquarters. Or anyone who happens to be Dangeresque. And from the looks of it, you're both. Which means twice the beat-'em-ups. I like Battletoads best! {Dangergsgxgzgdrc takes brass knuckes out of his pocket, and appears to put them on. They begin flailing around wildly.}
|
|