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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on May 31, 2019 16:58:35 GMT -6
{Juniper walks in}JUNIPER: Hey. More merchandise. How much you guys cost? AHHH! She spoke to us! Run! {They slowly hop away in their costumes}
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Post by Honstlar on May 31, 2019 18:40:55 GMT -6
Why are we hopping? We must have been sitting there so long, that we've lost all feeling in our legs! But I need my legs for jelly making!
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Juniper
Acolyte
Leading Sarcastic Remarker
Mega Man is the best.
Posts: 19
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Post by Juniper on May 31, 2019 18:49:17 GMT -6
{Juniper facepalms.} Juniper: T'is strange strife and times we all go through.
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Post by Honstlar on May 31, 2019 19:55:16 GMT -6
Title drAAAA- (Honstlar trips and falls.) Oof!
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Juniper
Acolyte
Leading Sarcastic Remarker
Mega Man is the best.
Posts: 19
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Post by Juniper on Jun 1, 2019 4:27:39 GMT -6
{Juniper starts laughing.}
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Juniper
Acolyte
Leading Sarcastic Remarker
Mega Man is the best.
Posts: 19
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Post by Juniper on Jun 7, 2019 16:50:07 GMT -6
Juniper: I mean, honestly, I wish I had videotaped that. That's honestly hilarious. : { Angry growling}
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 7, 2019 18:08:38 GMT -6
{Pause} {as if realizing something} Wait... say that again. "Title drAAAA— Oof!" No, after that. "Wait... say that again." No, before that. "I'm the very strongest! You guys are not very strong!" Not that far back!! Just, like, ten lines up. Why do you so desperately need me to say it again? Because we're cartoon characters! They always say "say that again" when someone gives them an idea. What's the idea? I don't know yet... because you're not saying it again!! Just tell me what the line is! {angry muttering; pulls out his phone and points to a line} Right here. This one. The one you're pointing to? Yes. Which one are you pointing to? The one where it says "Juniper laughs". Okay. "Juniper laughs". No! Don't just read the description! Juniper, you say it. JUNIPER: You want me to laugh? Yes. Just like you did before. JUNIPER: Uh... ha ha ha. That's not convincing enough. Try again. {takes off his hat} Here, I'll just play a recording of it. Why were you recording? Oh, I always record everything, just in case anyone spills some secrets that I can sell to questionable buyers for great profits. Here's the recording. {clicks a button on the hat}JUNIPER: {in the recording} {laughs} That's it! What? She laughed! That means she must not be as emo as she says! Maybe she's all right after all! JUNIPER: That's what I've tried telling you this whole time! I dunno. My calculations said otherwise. I must've made an error somewhere. I clearly calculated x=0, x referring to the variable of laughs per lifetime, 0 referring to 0. You must've miscalculated the bagels-disguised-as-golf-cart-tires-rolled-through-a-cave-full-of-whale-blubber-and-topped-with-a-live-rodent-with-a-hearing-condition-flavored jelly bean formula. You're right. That's where I went wrong!
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Juniper
Acolyte
Leading Sarcastic Remarker
Mega Man is the best.
Posts: 19
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Post by Juniper on Jun 7, 2019 18:27:17 GMT -6
Juniper: { Presses hand(?) into forehead} Jesus Christ.. Why on EARTH.. Would you not try to talk to me? I'm goth-ish, sure, but I also like cartoons. And videro games. And drawing. AAAANNNDDD hanging out with cool guys. Ya'll seem to be cool guys if you ignore the weirdness. : Don't ignore the weirdness! Embrace the weirdness! EMBRACE IT LIKE CHOCOLATE MILK. : Embrace.. Embracing chocolate milk?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 14, 2019 20:00:34 GMT -6
JUNIPER: Say, embracing chocolate milk doesn't sound like such a bad idea. {Cut to the three of them drinking chocolate milk} Chocolate and milk. My two favorite things, combined into one. If only there was a possum in here, it would be perfect!
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Juniper
Acolyte
Leading Sarcastic Remarker
Mega Man is the best.
Posts: 19
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Post by Juniper on Jun 21, 2019 5:32:46 GMT -6
Juniper: I once wrestled a possum. T'was hard, due to my stature of not in the normal height and weight of the average people. : ... What? : She's saying she's short. { Musical sting} Juniper: Excuse me?
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Juniper
Acolyte
Leading Sarcastic Remarker
Mega Man is the best.
Posts: 19
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Post by Juniper on Jul 15, 2019 17:43:16 GMT -6
Uh oh..
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 15, 2019 21:54:15 GMT -6
He said you're short. No, she said she's short. She said her height isn't normal. You said she's short. JUNIPER: {pointing at Honstlar} Did you call me short?! Yes, he did. I thought I made that abundantly clear. I— I don't know what you're talking about! I'm innocent! I don't deserve this! I'm too young! I have so much left to live for! He's not innocent. We all heard it, Honstlar. Fess up. I didn't do nothing! Ohh, still playing innocent, eh, liar? Whoa whoa whoa! I may be a liar, but at least I'm an Honest Liar. {smiles at the camera with a "ding"}JUNIPER: So you did call me short!! No! I didn't say that I said that. You have no proof! Or do we? D— do we? Dewey? Yes, we dew. Er, do. We do have proof. I think you've forgotten my bowler hat recorder from earlier this episode. {takes off his hat and presses a button} {in the recording} She's saying she's short. No, no! That wasn't me! It was my clone! {Pan over to Honstlar's clone}CLONE: Oh, sure, blame the clone. Just like always. Go on and fess up your crimes, Honstlar 1. CLONE 2: Don't make us call the police! Okay, fine. I called you short. But— JUNIPER: {furiously} But what? But it's accurate, isn't it? I mean, all I did was state the facts. JUNIPER: First you call me short, and then you have the audacity to call me short again?! Uh, no. JUNIPER: Go on, you short-caller. Call me short again and see what happens. Okay. You're short.
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Juniper
Acolyte
Leading Sarcastic Remarker
Mega Man is the best.
Posts: 19
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Post by Juniper on Jul 16, 2019 19:03:56 GMT -6
Juniper: { She started to wrestle Honstlar to the ground.} SWEET JESUS! Juniper: YAA!
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Post by Honstlar on Jul 17, 2019 9:42:31 GMT -6
(Juniper grabs Honstlar's hat and rips it into a fine powder) SWEET MOTHER MARY! (Juniper picks up Honstlar's legs and starts spinning in place, then releases Honstlar and sends him flying.) SWEET WISEGUY WITH THE FRANKINCENSE! (Honstlar crashes into a gun shop.) {BANG!} SWEET- Uh... assorted Nativity animals?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 19, 2019 21:25:32 GMT -6
{Honstlar sees the guns.} SWEET DR. HANUKKAH! {He grabs a gun and runs off. Cut to Juniper and Gfd.} Wow, you threw him all the way out of the building. You must be strong! JUNIPER: Thanks, Gfd! It's quite impressive, especially because of how short you are. {Pause.}JUNIPER: Go. What? I just said you're strong! That's a compliment! You know, because you're so miniscule in stature. You barely come up to my toes. It hurts to talk to you because I have to bend my neck down so far to see you. You're the most measly, pathetic-sized thing I've ever seen in my life. How short are you? Negative one inch? {Juniper turns red. Steam comes out of her ears as her head ignites in flames. He shakes with rage.} Oh, you're turning red. That doesn't look healthy. Have you seen a doctor about that? You might have a condition. Which is especially harmful for someone as short as y— {Cut to Earth. Gfd is thrown out of the atmosphere.} —OOOUUUU!! {Cut back to Juniper. Honstlar comes in and holds her at gunpoint.} WHAT did you just do to my cousin?! JUNIPER: Whoa! A gun?! You're taking this a bit far, don't you think? I would've used a cheese biscuit instead, except I accidentally landed in a gun shop instead of a cheese biscuit factory. It seemed like the most convenient option.
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Juniper
Acolyte
Leading Sarcastic Remarker
Mega Man is the best.
Posts: 19
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Post by Juniper on Jul 20, 2019 6:40:59 GMT -6
Juniper: Come on you guys, I didn't hit you that hard! (He lands back into the atmosphere.) YOU SHOT ME INTO THE SPACETROSPHERE!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 20, 2019 13:45:24 GMT -6
I had to fight off armies of nineteen-legged cybernetic aliens within the center of a collapsing supernova, then I escaped through a wormhole to another dimension full of nothing but sand, USB disks, and extradimensional matter-phase-shifting space/time remnants! I had to survive for seconds in there! Seconds, I tell you!!JUNIPER: Okay... you guys called me short, and I threw you into gun shops and/or other dimensions. I guess we're all at fault here. We're even now. So now everything's fine? JUNIPER: That's right. I guess I don't need this gun. I'd better return it. But I came all this way carrying it... I might as well give it a try. {points it at Juniper and shoots} {A cheese biscuit hits Juniper in the head} JUNIPER: Ow! What was that for? This thing shoots cheese biscuits?! It's what I'm've always wanted! I am so not returning this thing. Now let's get back to our chocolate milk. Finally I can wash down all those USB disks.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Aug 8, 2019 18:58:09 GMT -6
ALL: {fake and forced} Ah hah hah hah. {They walk offscreen.} {offscreen} Are— are we done? Is that the end?
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Post by Honstlar on Aug 9, 2019 19:12:07 GMT -6
(Fade to black) Huh, I guess it is. (White text appears.) Text: 4 Hours Later Wait, scratch that, it's a flashforward. (Cut to Juniper and the BODH outside the Pillmobile.) And so, by the power invested in me, and my many bruised limbs, I hereby declare you, Juniper, the newest member of the BODH A-Team. Nowpleasedon'thurtme.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Aug 9, 2019 20:44:35 GMT -6
JUNIPER: I won't! Maybe 'cept for a little kick. Just for old times' sake. {kicks Honstlar in the shin} OW! Was that really necessary? JUNIPER: Yeah, a little. Anyway, I now crown you... {puts a Met Helmet on her} Leading Sarcastic Remarker. JUNIPER: I've done it! I'm finally a broternal type! I know! It's quite astonishing, given your stature. You're the shortest member so far!
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Juniper
Acolyte
Leading Sarcastic Remarker
Mega Man is the best.
Posts: 19
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Post by Juniper on Aug 10, 2019 8:04:19 GMT -6
Juniper: Just gonna ignore that you said that and not totally destroy you and your grandma's ma. : Oh thank cheese biscuits you didn't go after Ol' Gram Stlarla. Old Gram Stlarla: Hooray for not beatin' me up!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Aug 13, 2019 14:04:07 GMT -6
ALL: HOORAY FOR OL' GRAM STLARLA! {Fade to black. "end." appears.}
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