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Post by Honstlar on Jul 17, 2021 18:41:34 GMT -6
Go home and curl up like a little baby?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 18, 2021 17:36:28 GMT -6
That's a valid option. All in favor? Aye! All opposed? DALEK: Nay! Hey, you don't get to vote. DALEK: Aww.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 10, 2022 19:42:39 GMT -6
Dalek: I mean, EXTERMINATE!! {The Dalek nearly blasts Gfd and Homestar.} WAAH! {The two dash off. Cut to Honstlar and Greg who are hiding in the clearance bin of a clothing store.}
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 11, 2022 0:55:38 GMT -6
I don't think they'll find us in here. Unless they're looking for bargain-cheap deals on T-shirts and jeans. Ooh, good point. What if they come looking to buy clothes?! The clearance bin is the first place they'd look! You think we should hide somewhere more unfashionable? Exactly. We need to find something no one would ever want...
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 11, 2022 1:46:54 GMT -6
Like a cardboard piano? {bored} Really? Another freakin' Labo diss? {angrily} Come on man, it's been like 4 years! FREAKING LET IT GO ALREADY!!!!{A Dalek gunstick pokes through the clothes.}
Dalek: EXTERMINATE! You just had to open your big fat mouth, did you? {Honstlar and Greg are exterminated.}
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 15, 2022 23:53:19 GMT -6
{The Dalek sprays a can of bug spray at Honstlar and Greg.}DALEK: WHY AREN'T YOU EXTERMINATING? I think the methods of exterminating bugs and people are slightly different. DALEK: OH, RIGHT. GOOD POINT. {The Dalek exterminates Honstlar and Greg for real.} {muffled voiceover} NOOO! Honstlar and to a lesser extent Greg! All because they hid in such a popular part of the store... DALEK: HEY, I WONDER IF I CAN SNAG MYSELF SOME SWEET DOUBLOONS. {The Dalek opens the cash register and Gfd pops out.} Uh oh. DALEK: AWW, THERE'S JUST THIS WEIRD GUY. I mean, EXTERMINATE!! Convenient self-defense powers, ACTIVATE! {Gfd eats the Dalek.} Mmm, I should try sautéing these in olive oil sometime, maybe a little arugula... {Gfd explodes.} AAAHH, I didn't know I could be exterminated from within! DALEK: WIPING LAST 30 SECONDS FROM MEMORY BANKS.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 16, 2022 0:32:37 GMT -6
{Homestar whacks the Dalek with his orange spoon.} Quick, Bluem'n, run! But I just can't leave you here to die!! It's okay, if dying can buy some guy I barely know some extra time to get help, then it will have all been worth it. Tell everybody.... {Zoom in on Homestar, who is shedding a tear.} The me was a terrific athlete.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 16, 2022 22:24:15 GMT -6
{Homestar is extermined in slow motion as dramatic music plays.}DALEK: EXTERMINATING IN SLOW MOTION AS DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS. Homestar, NOOO!! It wasn't supposed to end like this! You were supposed to reach a ripe old age, then get blown up by space robots. {looking at the Dalek with a determined expression} You... you'll pay for this. {Zoom out to reveal the Dalek is wearing a polo shirt.} That'll be $5.99. DALEK: DANG, THE CLEARANCE BIN REALLY DOES HAVE SOME GREAT DEALS.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 16, 2022 22:28:02 GMT -6
{Cut to the inside of the Pillquarters. Gfd walks into frame.} Okay, if I'm gonna stop these Doorlicks or whatever they're called, I'm gonna need to arm myself.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 18, 2022 0:42:44 GMT -6
{Gfd reaches below the frame and pulls up an arm.} I'll arm myself with this arm. Cool, I've always wanted one of those. Wait a minute... whose arm is this? {Zoom out to reveal the room is covered in ash and debris.} THEY GOT STOM! Those monsters!! How will I get my waffles now?! {Gfd looks over at another table, which has nothing on it.} {gasp} Zascub's arm! They got him too?!
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 20, 2022 23:44:46 GMT -6
{Cut to the Dalek ship. The Supreme Dalek is in front of a videoscreen. On it is a massive Dalek with wires connecting it to the ceiling and a see-through head, revealing the octopus-like mutant inside.} Supreme Dalek: GREAT EMPEROR, WE HAVE LOCATED A CLASS 3 PLANET KNOWN AS EARTH. AND AS WE SPEAK, WE ARE SEIZING IT AND EXTERMINATING ALL RESISTANCE. THE PLANET WILL BE UNDER OUR FULL CONTROL IN 12 GIGA-RELS.* Dalek Emperor: {In a similarly modulated, but far more nuanced voice} Excellent. With the Earth under the mighty Dalek Empire, we will finally have all the resources we need to enact our master plan. Soon, we will have our revenge on the Klanktor for destroying Skaro and executing our creator, and no one will be foolish enough to stop us!
*Author's Notes: 12 giga-rels roughly translate to 6.5 Earth hours.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 21, 2022 21:48:58 GMT -6
{Cut to Gfd looking out the window of the Pillquarters.} Man, those things are wreaking some serious havoc. Seriously, that havoc is wreaked. Good thing I'm foolish enough to stop them. {walks in from offscreen} If you want my advice, you're going to need to arm yourself with more than arms. {holds up Homestar's leg} You mean I should leg myself? I can do that. This thing doubles as a shotgun. I can't think of anything that could stop these robots... except for one thing. Follow me. Is it this leg? No. Is it tape-leg? I considered it, but no.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 23, 2022 14:54:34 GMT -6
{Offscreen} Aw, man! Wait, did you hear that? It kinda sounded like Strong Bad. There's another survivor! C'mon, let's go find him!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 24, 2022 23:01:32 GMT -6
{Cut to Strong Bad, injured on the Field. Gfd and SRMX12 run toward him.} Strong Mad! Are you okay?! That's... Strong Bad. Ohh. I thought you said it sounded like Strong Bad. I did. Because it's him. That makes more sense. It would be weird if Strong Mad sounded like Strong Bad. Yeah, I guess that— {A Dalek blows up Strong Bad.} NO!! STRONG MAD!
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 24, 2022 23:58:54 GMT -6
He was only -6 days to retirement! {The Dalek slowly moves towards Gfd and SRMX12.} Dalek: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! {It continues chanting "Exterminate" in the background.} Looks like the end of the road for us. Or more accurately, the end of the grass. Dalek: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINA- {Strong Bad jumps onto the Dalek from behind. He is wearing a tattered green bandana and war paint.} Huttah! {He starts yanking on the Dalek's eyestalk. The Dalek spins out of control.} Dalek: MY VISION IS IMPAIRED! MY VISION IS IMPAIRED! MY VISION- {Strong Bad pulls out the eyestalk. The Dalek's headlights grow dimmer as it's speech begins to trail off.} Dalek: IS impaired... There, much better. Strong Bad!? But I thou- We just saw y- You went boo- HOW!? I always keep a Papier-mâché decoy of my self around in case of an alien invasion. Now quick, follow me before another one shows up! {Strong Bad runs off, Gfd and SRMX12 quickly follow suit. Cut to the exterior of Strong Bad's house. There are various metal rods taped to it with magnets wrapped in copper wire attached to them. Cut to Strong Bad's basement. The couch has been tipped over to use as a make-shift table and blueprints are on them. Strong Bad, SRMX12 and Gfd walk in.} Welcome to Resistance Headquarters. Ooh, resisty. I don't know about this. Won't they just follow us here and blast us to bits? I wouldn't count on that. I took the liberty of raiding the late Dump of Hump's stash of sci-fi novels and RPG bestiaries, and I found a page on these Darelacks or whatever these British murder mailboxes are called, as well as some of their weaknesses. {Cut to the Dalek blueprint. Strange alien text is written on it.} Their power comes from this large orb in the center of their skirt things. It's apparently made of a superconductive electrostatic material called Chibbnum. It reacts with the pure Dalekanium casing, generating static electricity. The downside of this is that they can't enter any area with a strong magnetic field, lest they lose all power. It also helps that Dalekanium is repelled by magnets. So that's why you stuck a bunch of electromagnets to your house? Bingo.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 30, 2022 0:20:04 GMT -6
So how do we get them inside a strong magnetic field? The best plan I've come up with is taping together a bunch of magnets and convincing the robots it's free cake. I found out the hard way that these robots do not like cake. Those monsters. I think I has the solution! Just before we received word of your survival, I was telling Gfd about something I could believe could stop the Daleks. Magnets disguised as a bran muffin? I've read enough science fiction books to know that the best way to defeat a robot army... {draws a familiar speech-bubble shaped robot on the blueprint} is with another robot army.
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Post by Honstlar on Jul 1, 2022 18:57:09 GMT -6
Umm... That's an emoticon, not an army.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 6, 2022 22:32:35 GMT -6
{draws more speech bubble-shaped robots} There. Now it's an army. Now you're just ruining the blueprints. I like the faces on those balloons. It's Tappatok. I'm talking about Tappatok. What?! Those guys are like the second or third worst! Besides, wasn't Tappatok destroyed? For the most part. I was able to retrieve some of the technology used to take over the world that one time. Tappatok technology is complex in nature, but in short, the material is like a computer. It can generate more material as designed in its memory banks, and fortunately for us, that includes robots. That still doesn't address the "second or third worst" part. What if they take over the world again? The Cleanser Geek was able to hack the technology to make herself Tappatok Supreme, and my technological prowess extends beyond hers a good amount. With careful programming, the robots will follow our command. Wait, I thought the Cleanser Geek created Tappatok. Careful investigation of the material indicates it was created... a rather long time ago. Likely before the Cleanser Geek was even born. So where did it come from?! I've asked myself the same question. At present, we don't have sufficient information to jump to a conclusion, so that mystery will have to wait until another time. All this science talk is making my brain flinch with mild discomfort. What exactly is the plan here? We go back to the Pillquarters, retrieve the Tappatok material, and use it program more robots. They're not that strong individually; rather, their strength is in their numbers. I'll program them to fight the Daleks, while Gfd installs an electromagnetic field around the Pillquarters. We use Tappatok to lure the Daleks into the Pillquarters, turn on the magnetic field, and put an end to this madness.
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Post by Honstlar on Jul 7, 2022 15:14:16 GMT -6
Just one problem... We can't go back to the Pillquarters, BECAUSE WE'LL BE EXTERMINATED ON SIGHT!!! Don't worry, I've got that covered...
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jul 16, 2022 21:07:52 GMT -6
{Cut to Daleks roaming around the Pillquarters.}DALEK: EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE. ANOTHER DALEK: EXTERMINATE? DALEK: YES, EXTERMINATE. ANOTHER DALEK: {nodding understandingly} AH, EXTERMINATE INDEED. {A cardboard cutout of a Dalek shuffles by.} {voiceover} Uh, how are things going? DALEK: OH, YOU KNOW. EXTERMINATE. {voiceover} Just as I expected. Uh, good work! {voiceover} Um, we— I mean, I meant "exterminate". DALEK: NOW YOU'RE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE. ANOTHER DALEK: SAY, YOU EXTERMINATE? DALEK: HE EXTERMINATES. ANOTHER DALEK: SWEET. EXTERMINATE, AM I RIGHT? {The Daleks cheer and high-five somehow as the cardboard cutout shuffles past them, approaching the front door.}DALEK: WHAT'S THE PASSWORD? {voiceover} Um... "exterminate"? DALEK: {makes whatever the Dalek equivalent of finger guns is} YOU GOT IT, MY DUDE! {The cardboard cutout enters the Pillquarters.} {voiceover; whispering} Your big plan involves reprogramming a robot army and installing magnetic fields, and your best idea to get us in here was with cardboard? {voiceover; whispering} I'd like to see you do better. Besides, it worked, didn't it? {voiceover; whispering} It did, except... now we've got a bigger problem on our hands. {They emerge from the hallway, only to find Daleks having a party in the Pillquarters. There's food and drinks, and the party banner just reads "EXTERMINATE".}
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Post by Honstlar on Aug 30, 2022 12:32:12 GMT -6
DALEK: GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT, DALEK FROLK! {voiceover} ANY TIME! SO, REMIND ME AGAIN WHAT THIS PARTY IS FOR! DALEK: DIDN'T YOU HEAR? EACH OF THE EARTH'S GOVERNMENTS HAVE SURRENDERED TO THE DALEK EMPIRE! ANOTHER DALEK: AND WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN ORDERS TO EXTERMINATE THIS ENTIRE QUADRANT OF SPACE! {voiceover} And how are we- {voiceover; whispering} You're not doing the voice right! {voiceover; whispering} Oh, yeah! {Regular volume} AND HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THAT? DALEK: AS WE SPEAK, THE EARTH'S CORE IS BEING LOADED WITH ILUDIUM DETONATORS. ANOTHER DALEK: WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT, THE EMPEROR WILL ACTIVATE THEM AND THE RESULTING SOLAR WAVE WILL WIPE OUT ALL PLANETS IN A 50 LIGHT-YEAR RADIUS.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Sept 2, 2022 21:58:26 GMT -6
{voiceover} OH, SHOOT. I MEAN, OH, SHOOT. I MEAN, GREAT. {voiceover} ANOTHER VICTORY FOR US TOTAL DALEKS, WHICH WE ALL DEFINITELY ARE. DALEK: SWEET, RIGHT? HELP YOURSELF TO SOME PUNCH, CHIPS, PIZZA, BATTERY ACID, WHATEVER. IT'S ON THE HOUSE. {voiceover; whispering} Ooh, did he say they have battery acid? {voiceover; whispering} Gfd, stay on task! {Dalek voice} WE— I MEAN, I, AN INDIVIDUAL BEING, AM NOT HUNGRY RIGHT NOW. DALEK: SUIT YOURSELF, MY DUDE. YOU WANNA TAKE A DIP IN THE JACUZZI INSTEAD? {voiceover} UM, WE'RE... ROBOTS. I AM VERY CONFUSED AS TO THE LOGISTICS OF SUCH AN ACTIVITY. {voiceover; whispering} I gotta say, you're really nailing the robotic vocabulary. {voiceover; whispering} That's just how he normally talks. {Suddenly the Dalek is distracted by something. Cut to another Dalek, firing lasers at the furniture as the rest of the party cheers it on.}ALL DALEKS: {cheering} EXTERMI NATE! EXTERMI NATE! EXTERMI NATE! EXTERMI NATE!{In one final laser blast, all the furniture is destroyed.}ALL DALEKS: WOOOO!! {Cut to the cardboard Dalek sneaking through the Pillquarters.} {voiceover; whispering} We are so telling these guys' parents about this once we're done saving the galaxy. {voiceover; whispering} So where's the jacuzzi? I mean, the Tappatok stuff you were talking about?
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Post by Honstlar on Nov 3, 2022 18:58:06 GMT -6
{voiceover; whispering} It should be just around this corridor...
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 13, 2022 2:50:43 GMT -6
{They walk down the hall and find a Dalek.} {voiceover; whispering} It should be, um, right under that Dalek there. DALEK: SO HOW ABOUT THIS PARTY, HUH? {starts chugging a can} {voiceover} YEAH, UH, IT'S COOL. CAN YOU MAYBE MOVE? {voiceover} WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING? DALEK: ENERGY DRINK. WE ROBOTS NEED TO STAY POWERED UP. {starts throwing up motor oil} MY INTERNAL PROCESSORS DON'T AGREE WITH IT, THOUGH. {voiceover} YOU SHOULD CONSIDER A HEALTHIER SUBSTITUTE. {voiceover; whispering} Remind me to never have space robots over for parties ever again. {voiceover; whispering} What are you talking about? These guys are great! {voiceover; whispering} They're trying to destroy our planet. {voiceover; whispering} Fine, we'll only have them over every twelfth Thursday. DALEK: YO, WHAT YOU WHISPERING ABOUT? {voiceover} UM, EXTERMINATING. DALEK: WOOO! ALWAYS LOVE TO MEET ANOTHER EXTERMINATING FAN. {Awkward pause.}DALEK: SAY, YOU'VE GOT ONE NIIICE CRANIAL DOME. WHAT SAY YOU AND I DITCH THIS PLACE AND EXTERMINATE TOGETHER? {voiceover} I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW. CAN YOU MOVE? DALEK: NO PROBLEM, BABE. HOW 'BOUT THURSDAY? {voiceover} WORKS FOR ME. {voiceover; whispering} What are you doing?! {voiceover; whispering} Everything about this is making me uncomfortable.
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Post by Honstlar on Nov 13, 2022 23:13:23 GMT -6
Dalek: SEE YOU THEN. {The Dalek leaves, revealing it was standing on a hatch door.} {voiceover; whispering} There it is!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jan 20, 2023 17:04:02 GMT -6
{They lift the hatch and descend down a staircase into the basement.} What is this place? I've never been down here. This is the basement. This is where we keep all the food we don't want you to eat, that's why we've never told you about it. {chewing} Smart plan. Anyway, I thought our main room was already a basement. Yeah, this is the basement's basement. Ooh, double-decker basement. I like it. {tries to bite a white square} Hey, this white chocolate tastes like circuitry. Those flavors don't go together like you'd expect. That's no chocolate, it's the ancient material that forms the foundation of all Tappatok technology. By plugging it into the Prisma One, I can reprogram it into any form it's compatible with. Great! Do that! Wait a minute. If it's a robot army we need, {points offscreen} why don't we just use those guys you've apparently been keeping down here? {Pan over to reveal an army of robots shaped like the various characters.} I didn't build those. I'm pretty sure I'd remember if I had built them.
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Post by Honstlar on Jan 21, 2023 3:16:03 GMT -6
Wait a minute, those guys look familiar. Gasp, you're right! They've made robot duplicates of everyone in Free Country!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Feb 2, 2023 0:54:22 GMT -6
We should get out of here fast. Nah, I think it's fine. They're all turned off. This is real convenient! We can just replace Honstlar with this robo-him, and it'll be like he was never exterminated at all! Or rather, like the extermination metallicized his skin. I... think that's what happened. This must be what happened to all the people they exterminated. Wait, does this mean they also exterminated their own kind? {gestures to a group of Daleks behind him} No, they wouldn't do that. {Pause.} Oh shoot. DALEK: IF YOU INSIST. {charges up a blast}
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Post by Honstlar on Feb 28, 2023 16:57:50 GMT -6
Oh, crap! {They narrowly dodge the blast.} How did you find us out? DALEK SUPREME: THE ENERGY DRINKS INHIBITED OUR SENSORS, BUT RIGHT AS YOU WERE ENTERING THE HATCH, DALEK GRALP CAME TO HER SENSES AND DETECTED IMPURE GENETICS INSIDE WHAT WE HAD BELIEVED WAS DALEK FROLK. DALEK GRALP: HOW DARE YOU TOY WITH MY HEART! Genetics? I thought you guys said you were robots. DALEK: THAT CLAIM WAS ALSO INFLUENCED BY THE ENERGY DRINKS. DALEK SUPREME: THE DALEKS ARE THE ULTIMATE IMPLEMENTATION OF ORGANIC AND MECHANICAL ELEMENTS. IT IS WHAT HAS ALLOWED US TO SURVIVE AND BECOME THE SUPREME BEINGS WE ARE TODAY. Survive what? DALEK SUPREME: IT ALL STARTED EONS AGO ON OUR HOME PLANET, SKARO. OUR ANCESTORS, THE DALS, WERE IN AN SEEMINGLY ENDLESS WAR WITH A RIVAL RACE KNOWN AS THE THALS. THE YEARS OF RADATION EXPOSURE HAD CAUSED THEIR FORMS TO DEGENERATE, LEAVING THEM UNABLE TO DEFEND THEMELVES, UNTIL ONE OF THEIR SCIENTISTS CONSTRUCTED WHAT WOULD LATER BE KNOWN AS THE ELECTRO-KINETIC TRAVEL MACHINE, OR EK FOR SHORT. ARMED TO THE TEETH WITH HIGHLY ADVANCED WEAPONRY, IT NOT ONLY ALLOWED THE DALS TO OVERCOME THE AMBULATORY LIMITATIONS OF THEIR MUTATIONS, BUT ALSO TO TOTALLY EXTERMINATE THE THALS AND WIN THE WAR. AND ON THAT DAY, THE SCIENTIST KNOWN AS DAVROS DECLARED THE END OF THE DALS... ...And the dawn of the Daleks? DALEK: CORRECT, THE BLUE ONE APPEARS TO BE LESS INCOMPETENT THAN WE THOUGHT! Trust me, he isn't. DALEK SUPREME: THAT VICTORY WOULD LEAD OUR RACE TO COUNTLESS YEARS OF GALACTIC SUPREMACY, CONQUERING ENTIRE SOLAR SYSTEMS AND EXTERMINATING THE CREATURES THAT INHABITED THEM. BUT IT WASN'T LONG BEFORE WE WOULD BE NOTICED BY A CERTAIN GROUP OF SO-CALLED PEACEKEEPERS. The Klanktor!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Mar 10, 2023 1:46:21 GMT -6
DALEK SUPREME: PRECISELY. THEY PUT AN END TO OUR PLANS... UNTIL WE FOUND A WORMHOLE TO THIS PLANET, THE MOST PATHETIC AND EASY TO CONQUER OF THEM ALL. AND SO, BY EXTERMINATING— THE OTHER DALEKS: WOOOO!! DALEK SUPREME: —THIS PLANET AND TAKING ITS RESOURCES FOR OURSELVES, WE CAN ANNIHILATE THE KLANKTOR AND TAKE THEIR PLACE. THE ENTIRE GALAXY WILL BE IN OUR GRASP. AND THAT STARTS WITH EXTERMINATING YOU. Look, I'm just as big a fan of exterminating as the next guy, but let's not get too hasty. How about we go exterminate some bugs or something? That would be a lot more legal. DALEK SUPREME: MORE LEGAL EQUALS LESS COOL. You've got a point there. I'd definitely murder us if I were you guys. Gfd, you're not helping.
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