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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Mar 3, 2020 21:42:25 GMT -6
{Cut back to the office.} Hey. Do you know where Garbles is? I think he went to check up on someone's computer system. Oh, okay. So I will have HAVE have HAVE one) What was that? gort.gort.gort.gort. {Coach E turns into ASCII art, and the wall behind her begins to turn into a laser grid.} {unintelligible beeping} Not this again. {SRMX12 runs over to his cubicle, grabs a phone, and dials frantically.} Come on, pick up, pick up, pick up... {from the phone} Y'ello? Gfd. Where are you? {Cut to Gfd in the digital void.} Some weird virtual world. It's all dark with green grid lines and sometimes numbers. YES! That's perfect. Since you were closest to the virus when it began to spread, it infected you as its host! I'm a host? Like of a game show? A virus can't be spread without a host. It took you to this void so it can spread throughout the universe! Why is that perfect? Because it means you can stop it! All you need to do is find Edgar, he'll stop stop the the the g g g g Hello? {Cut back to SRMX12 in the office, which is now fully pixelated. His phone turns into binary code.} Oh no. I'm going too. Please, Gfd... s s s a v e u s . . . {his Flash assets begin to separate and turn into a hideous monstrosity} Popcorn chicken. Yum yum. {Cut back to Gfd.} So that's it then. It's up to me. I, and I alone, must find Edgar. My universe is destroyed if I don't act fast. I'm the only thing standing between the virus and the universe. Just me. Alone. In solitude. Without companionship. Completely and utterly— {Mexican accent} Compe teeshon! {his head turns into bubbles} Oh. You're here too. Well, let's go.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Mar 5, 2020 12:42:33 GMT -6
{Cut to everyone talking around the water cooler in the office.} ...And that's how I saved the universe. I don't know, I'm not buying the bit with the virtual mutant shark battle. Sir, I am insulted. Are you questioning my credibility? Yes. If your whole story is true, why didn't we get to see any of it? 'Cause that's not what this episode is about. It's called "The Boring Office of Dullards and Holding", not "Gfd and Strong Bad Save the Universe From the Virus". Yeah, well that's what it should be called. Or "Gfd and the Digital 50,000-Mile Leviathan That He Singlehandedly Tamed and Subsequently Devoured With His Bare... Hands". Rolls off the tongue, I say! Oh, and speaking of holding, I gotta go do that! Peow! {speeds away}
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Mar 28, 2020 22:40:56 GMT -6
{Cut to Gfd at his cubicle. He dials a number.}VOICE ON PHONE: Hello, this is Cheatsa Pizza. What would you like to order? Please hold. VOICE ON PHONE: Wh— what? {Gfd begins playing the oboe. Cut to another Gfd in another part of the room, playing the drums. Cut to two more Gfds playing the synthesizer and the triangle, respectively.} {singing}This is the song of the tech support hold, I'll sing it until the sound gets too old, If I need a bagel or I have a cold, I'll sing you the song of the tech support hold! {Three more Gfds join in to harmonize.} Lee-da-da-dee-da-da-lee-da-da-dee, la-lee-ba-ba-dee-doo-doo-wah! {An entire chorus of Gfds, standing on a stage while dressed in choir garments, harmonizes along.} Lee-da-da-dee-da-da-lee-da-da-dee, la-lee-ba-ba-dee-doo-doo-wah! {Cut back to Gfd in his cubicle as he sings the hold music.} I do not know how to clear my browser cache, I can't change my IP add reeess... but I know that I'll still get paid my cold hard cash, and that's why this job is the beeest!{He begins singing the bridge of the song, sung in a higher pitch. A few choir Gfds join in.} I can transfer you to some one who can help, I can tell you to press the numberrrs... But if I did, then I wouldn't get to sing this song, and oh wait, that part didn't rhyyyme!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on May 9, 2020 17:44:48 GMT -6
{Cut to a Gfd with a conductor's baton.} All together now! {Everyone in the office comes together for the chorus.}ALL: {singing}This is the song of the tech support hold, I'll sing it until the sound gets too old, If I need a bagel or I have a cold, I'll sing you the song of the tech support hold! Hoooold! Big finish! {Cut back to Gfd at the cubicle.} {into his headset} Okay, I'm back. I'd like to order a double triple cheeseroni deluxe with— oh, they hung up. {With a hangup tone, cut to a computer screen reading "END".}
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Post by Honstlar on May 10, 2020 23:44:28 GMT -6
{"...OF THAT MUSICAL NUMBER"} (Cut to Honstlar in his cubicle) And if we factor in the cost of the reusable paper plates, the total cost of the Cinco de Mayo party would be... (The DELETED! buzzer is heard.) Flambé'd Error?! Uggh, I hate Lotus 1-2-3!!! Why do I have to do spreadsheets when I could be playing Commander Keen instead?!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on May 11, 2020 17:26:05 GMT -6
{Gfd slowly rises up from within the cubicle.} I heard you needed tech support. Oh, no... I can support all the tech, man. There is no problem I can't solve. Lay it on me. My 'puter went kablooie. I'm afraid you have to be more specific. I'd rather not. Last time you did any supporting of tech, you ended up infecting the universe with a computer virus and turning me into a bowl of grapes with a "find edges" filter. {typing on Honstlar's computer} Don't worry. If this goes south, you can rest assured that your newly grapèd corpse won't go to waste. It will sustain future generations, by which I mean the current generation, by which I mean me. Hey, you're trying to turn me into an edge-detected bowl of grapes, aren't you?! No sir. This time I'm going for the "emboss" effect. I love me some of that shiny metallic sheen. Gray grapes are great grapes! Can you please go get SRMX12 or anyone else on the planet to help, and leave my cubicle space as soon as humanly possible? What, you don't like heavily-filtered grapes? It's an acquired taste. You must learn to appreciate fine cuisine. {does a kind of kiss in the air} What was that? Oh, it was like a chef's kiss, like you know, you do when something's really good. But I can't really do the hand thing. {thinking} That is, unless I use someone else's hands... hey, that's it! {gets a chainsaw} I'll be right back. {runs off} Phew. I thought he'd never leave.
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Post by Honstlar on Jun 8, 2020 18:09:35 GMT -6
I know right? That guy is such a dullard.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Jun 9, 2020 16:02:18 GMT -6
So, on a completely unrelated note... I finally finished all that paperwork I've been putting off. I just kept putting it off, y'know? And then I decided, you know what, I'm gonna put it on for once. And that's what I did, turns out. And speaking of putting it on, I think that's what I did with my weight. Maybe I should start one of them carb-free diets. Lay off the breadstuffs for a while. A terrific athlete's gotta keep in shape, y'know? My shape is gettin' a bit roundy, if I do say so myself. Come to think of it, you're not the fittest guy around either. We should meet up at the jogging track sometime. Speaking of which, d'ja see the latest episode of soap opera? Can't believe she left that guy. She'll be back next season, I'm tellin' ya. Mark my words.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 11, 2020 0:01:39 GMT -6
{Honstlar sighs, and Homestar continues rambling as the scene fades out. With a hangup tone, cut to a computer screen reading "END OF THAT CARTOON".}
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