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Post by Honstlar on Aug 23, 2018 15:03:53 GMT -6
Daw, crap! (Cut to the two in a bank.)
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Aug 23, 2018 17:43:44 GMT -6
'Scuse me, bankm'n. I need moneys. And fast! BANKM'N: No can do, I'm 'fraid. Aw man. What do we do now? How do we pay that fix-'em-up man? Nothin'. We have no options right now. We'll just spend the rest of our lives in severe debt. {Gfd and Honstlar sit down sadly. They think. Suddenly, Gfd jumps up with an idea.} Hey, wait a second. Remember when I merged the real world and the video game world? A few minutes ago? Yeah, of course. I never undid that, so the world is still merged with video games! Is that bad? No, it's good! What are the things you find most often in video games? Power-ups? Close. Mushrooms? Not quite! COINS! Ding-o! We'll go on a wild goose hunt to find all the coins in Free Country, USA, and use that to pay Mista Fixit! Of course! And since he's a video game-type character, he'll probably accept video game currency! Let's away! {They leave the bank}
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Aug 26, 2018 0:01:31 GMT -6
{Montage music plays. Gfd and Honstlar prance around the Field. Gfd approaches Bubs' Stand.} Ooh, there's probably a cavalcade of coins hidden in these bricks! {gets out a pixelated bomb and blows up the stand, revealing lots of coins} Ooh! Sweet dollars! {jumps around, collecting coins} WHAT DID YOU—?! THAT WAS MY STAND! YOU'RE STEALIN' MY LIFE'S SAVINS, MAN!! Relax. You'll get it back when I get rid of this video gameyness. {turning red} JH—!! DGB— I J— HCK—! B—?! {angry stuttering; walks back and forth in a predictable pattern} Uh oh. An enemy. {shoots a fireball at Bubs}{Bubs leaps up and falls off the bottom of the screen} Ooh yay, I got 6000 points! {Cut to Honstlar below a levitating pixelated rainbow box with an exclamation mark on it} Hey, check this out! A box floating in midair! That's gotta have somethin'! {Gfd walks over. Honstlar hits the box with his head, and a pixelated glowing orb pops out.} Ow. Jeez, how do video game characters hit these things so often without getting a splitting migraine? {walks over to orb and gets a pixelated jetpack} Whoa! I can fly! You could fly before. You have a propeller cap, remember? Yeah, but check this out! {flies all over the screen} Can't do that with a propeller cap! Look how cool it looks! It does look pretty cool. {walks away} I'ma check out— {appears to bump into something, knocking him back} D'OOF! {A block becomes visible in front of Gfd} OW! Video games are dangerous! {sits up} Oh, an invisible block, huh? Well, taste my invisible fists! {he kicks the block, causing a ladder to rise up} Would ya look at that. It's a ladder to the skies! {blasts upward} Oh, come on! You can already fly with your propeller. Can't you give me the jetpack? {starts climbing ladder} 'Course I'm the one who has to use the ladder. Grumbledy grumble. {Cut to the top. The ladder stops at a cloud platform. Honstlar is smiling energetically, as Gfd slowly climbs, exhausted.} I... {gasp} I made it. Any coins? Nope! Just a minigame. Let's try it out!
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Post by Honstlar on Aug 28, 2018 20:37:34 GMT -6
Okay! (A giant blue version of Dooble's head appears.) Haloshe!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Aug 29, 2018 23:26:24 GMT -6
Dooble! My favorite ambiguous relative! How's things been, man? I spew at you! Have at it, Josephine! {spits a fireball at Gfd, hitting him} Ow! My health points! What was that for? Twice up, mister! Work those thumbs! I'm not paid to get any younger! {spits a bunch of fireballs and coins} Okay, from the looks of it, we need to avoid the fireballs and collect the coins. {rapidly getting hit by fireballs} Wait, really? I thought it was the other way around. {a short tune plays as he falls off the screen} {looks around frantically} No! Gfd! Don't you have any extra lives? This is no walkabound! This is serious taskmanship! Look, I'm trying, okay? I have to say you're not exactly making this minigame any easier. I had to write this post three times because of my phone.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Sept 19, 2018 22:34:22 GMT -6
Ptoo! Ptow! Pwah! {expertly jumping and dodging} Whoa, Dooble, calm down! Too many fireballs, man! {The text "YOU WIN" blinks on the screen} Hey, I survived! 1000 points! {jumps off the platform, onto the ground} I am not doing that minigame ever again. Hey! Gfd! You're not dead! What gives? I had an extra life. Now let's keep coin-hunting! {Dooble falls from up above, looking completely normal} You look to need of service! Dooble! Hey, why aren't you a floaty blue head no mores? Maybe it's only when he's in the minigame. That makes sense. Hey, he should come along with us! He's a video game. He prolly knows tons of stuff about collecting coins! That I do! {holds up a round fruit} Harken the sounds of this cantaloupe! {holds it to his ear} {slowly leaning back} Uh... yeah. That's a... a great idea, Dooble. See? The guy's a natural!
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Post by Honstlar on Sept 20, 2018 11:55:35 GMT -6
(Cut to an 8-Bit map where we see a red line going from a spot labeled "LEVEL 1" to a spot labeled "LEVEL 2")
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Sept 20, 2018 23:38:39 GMT -6
{Cut to the trio in a pixelated land of snow.} Good ol' ice level. An integral part of all video gamery. Check out these slippery platforms! {slides around} Look! Penguins! Aww. {walking toward the penguins} Look at the little— {touches a penguin and flashes red for a moment} OW! I just touched it, and it hurt me somehow! It didn't even bite me or anything! Yeah, that's how video game enemies work. Since when are penguins enemies? What do they have against video game protagonists? Take that, you evil beings! {jumps on a penguin and collects a coin} Hey, I killed it and got a coin! Sweet! Gfd, no! Did you just kill an innocent penguin?! A video game enemy penguin. What did it ever do to you? It made me lose one health point. I mean... uh, besides that. Well, the game gave me a coin, so it must've been a good thing. This game rewards you for brutally beating innocent creatures? Yeah! Cool, right? Yep! Collecting coins will be easier than ever! {sees a tunnel underground} Whoa! A secret underground tunnel! You know what this means, don't you? No. A secret chasm filled with coins and power-ups! Ooh! Well, in that case... {Gfd and Honstlar jump in the tunnel, revealing a small cave filled with coins} Coins! Coins galore! {They run around collecting the coins} Hey, 100 coins. I got an extra life! Well, that's all of 'ems. Now let's get back up to the level. {They crawl up the tunnel, back to the ice} GASP... wheeze... cough. Climbing up a vertical tunnel is harder than it looks. The games make it look so easy... Oh good, a checkpoint! {touches the checkpoint and saves} Now my game is saved. If I die, I'll come back right here! Awesome! Let me do that! {runs to touch the checkpoint, but slips on the ice and falls down a pit} Oh wait no no waaaAAAAHHHh hhh...{Cut to the first level. Gfd appears at the beginning.} CRUEL IRONYYY!!
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Post by Honstlar on Sept 21, 2018 13:49:53 GMT -6
French Narrator: Several mans later...
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Sept 21, 2018 23:28:10 GMT -6
{Cut to a pixelated desert} I... {wheeze} I... made it. I finally... {gasp} caught up with you. Nice work! You made it to level 3 in such a short time. You oughta do speedruns!
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Post by Honstlar on Sept 26, 2018 10:45:58 GMT -6
(Cut to TurchKid03 getting up from bed.) TurchKid03: Oh my word! I sense a disturbance in the seasoned corn force.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Sept 29, 2018 18:52:29 GMT -6
TURCHKID03: {looks out the window} Huh. The world's merged with video games. Weird. {looks at his computer and sees "GFD0001" and "HONSTLARW" in the highscore menu} Gasp! Someone's broken all my speedrun records!! WHO HAS DONE THIS?! I'll get those cheaters if it's the last thing I do! Computer! Boot up program "Dooble 2"! {pause} Oh right. My computer doesn't have voice command. {goes to the desktop and clicks a "Dooble 2" icon}{Cut back to Gfd, Honstlar, and Dooble in the pixelated desert} Man, the boss fight with that sphinx was intense! I know! What do you think, Dooble? I thought it was a twice chance! Paste it away, and you can— {turns into his pixelated form and runs offscreen} What the?! How did he do that? Maybe someone is playing his game! He's been possessed by a Dooble 2 player! {Cut to Turchkid03's screen, speedrunning with Dooble}TURCHKID03: Oh my word, you guys... I have no idea what game this is. I guess Dooble escaped his game or something.
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Post by Honstlar on Sept 29, 2018 19:20:57 GMT -6
Hey, I'd recognize that pizza face from a mile away, It's that Turchkid kid!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Sept 30, 2018 17:52:27 GMT -6
He must be doing one of his speedruns! Come on, we have to beat him! What? Why? He's going to beat our speedrun record! If we win this level with the best record, we get a hundred coins! Why didn't you mention that earlier?! I was thinking about pancakes. Let's go! {They runninate across the countryside, runninating over platforms, runninating all the enemies, and their glowy POWER-UPS}
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 4, 2018 18:53:02 GMT -6
TURCHKID03: Oh my word. That purple midget and the hungry blue guy are catching up fast. I gotta speed it up.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 9, 2018 20:09:25 GMT -6
There's the finish line! We're almost theeere!
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Post by Honstlar on Nov 10, 2018 1:13:40 GMT -6
PAUSE
Hey, what's the big deal, Jerkchkid! You're not the only one allowed to have high scores.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 10, 2018 14:55:35 GMT -6
TURCHKID03: Yes, I am. I've been the top speedrunner in Dooble 2 for almost two years! But... this isn't Dooble 2. TURCHKID03: Oh, right. What game is this, then? It's the real world. It's been merged with video games. TURCHKID03: Oh. Oh, okay. Nevermind. I guess I don't have to get my speedrun record back. Now can you please unpause this so we can move again? My legs are falling asleep. TURCHKID03: Yeah, yeah, sure thing. {unpauses}{Honstlar and Gfd cross the finish line} WE DID IT! {turns back into his non-pixelated self} Hooraysche! {They get 100 coins} How many do we have now? {looks up at the coin number} We have a combined total of 319. Aw man, that's not even a fraction of the price Mista Fixit wanted! We need to speed up our process. But how? Have you ever heard of the Ultimate Power Crunch? Yeah, no. Legend says there's a power-up at the end of Stinkoman 20X6 level 10 that gives you infinite coins! But that level's not finished yet. So what? We'll finish it! Now let's get inside that game.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Nov 25, 2018 20:00:27 GMT -6
But how? I picked up a warp tunnel power up earlier. {a pixelated tunnel appears} Now might be a good time to use it. {They crawl inside the tunnel. Cut to the inside of a blueish stone castle. Skeleton-like enemies roam the halls. Gfd and Honstlar come out of a tunnel.} Well, here we are. Stinkoman 20X6, level 10.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Dec 18, 2018 18:29:39 GMT -6
SKULLM'N: Hey! Whatchoo fellas doin' back 'ere? Dis level's not open to da public fer anudda several days at least! Move over, Skullm'n. We have bigger fish to fry. {fries a rather large fish}SKULLM'N: How'dya know my name? It says it before all your lines in this transcript. SKULLM'N: Yeh, fergat about dat. Anyways, yer not authorized on these premises! We have come to find the Ultimate Power Crunch. We're getting to it, with or without your approval. So I suggest you step aside. SKULLM'N: Whoa, dat sounded real cool. Yeah, sure, whatever. I don't get paid much fer dis job anyways. {steps aside}{Gfd and Honstlar walk past him}SKULLM'N: Good luck witchaselves. Be sure to give me some a da profits! Since I did kinda help ya get to the Powa Crunch an' all dat. I'd ask fer at least 20 quintillion dollas. {They get to a precarious-looking platform made of cracking wood and tape} Looks like this part's not finished being built yet. We'd best be cautious.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Dec 28, 2018 21:26:09 GMT -6
{steps on a skull platform that cracks} You're right! This platform is almost breaking! I think that's the point. Step a few more times and see what happens! {Gfd stomps on it until the platform breaks, and the two tumble down to a new area}THURGOOD EACH: Buh? Whuh you fellas doing in restricted area? No one allow here! We're getting the Ultimate Power Crunch, Thurgood Each. So I kindly suggest you step to the side. THURGOOD EACH: Buh huh? How you know Thurgood Each name? {holds up a book} An illegal copy of the updated Stinkomanual. I found it by the entrance. THURGOOD EACH: Thurgood Each have orders. Not let people to crunch. Sorry, but you have leave. {spits out wind-up skulls} Argh! Rightades! You got any fireballs or anything? Nope at all! How are we s'posed to finish this level without any cool video game powers? Allow me to insist! Oh, right, Dooble. Forgot you were here. Hey, you're a video game character. Could you shoot this Each? If you assist. But don't twice around... this could get chalky! THURGOOD EACH: Buh huh whuh? {Dooble shoots a fireball at Thurgood Each}THURGOOD EACH: Hey! That against rule! Not allow to fire employees. Come on, Doobs! Just a couple more times. I'ms think to chance it! {shoots another fireball}THURGOOD EACH: Oof! Thurgood regret all life choices! One more time! {Dooble shoots one more fireball at Thurgood Each, blowing him up} Great! Now let's go! {They continue to find... nothing} Great. There are no platforms here yet. Now what do we do?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Feb 1, 2019 18:27:22 GMT -6
I guess this level hasn't been programmed fully. {pops up from the floor} Did someone say programmed? SRMX12?! What are you doing in level 10? Videlectrix hired me. I'm coding part of it. Did I never mention that? Well, of course I didn't, it's supposed to be a secret. Oh wait. Oops. We need to cross this chasm to find the Ultimate Power-style-Crunch. Can you code some plat-style-forms? Only if you stop putting "style" in the middle of words. O-style-kay. {tappity type type} Now, I'm coding pretty fast, so the platforms may be highly unstable, and there's a good chance you'll fall to your doom. But give it a try and see. {Black platforms with glowy green outlines appear over the pit, with green binary inside them} So we just hop over to the Crunch? Indeed. Well, here goes nothing. 'Cept, you know, our lives. That's kinda something. Fine. Here goes something. {jumps}
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Post by Zascub on Apr 24, 2019 12:37:55 GMT -6
{Honstlar, Gfd, and Dooble jump onto the platforms} Hey, they work. {Jumps onto another platform, but passes right through it.} AAA AAAAAA-- {Respawns on the platform he jumped from.} --AA--what?
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Apr 24, 2019 16:21:46 GMT -6
It works! I just coded an edge-fall respawn feature, so you only lose one health bar if you fall! You coulda said that earlier. {They continue hopping across platforms} You comin' with us, Serms? Well, I don't know... I have to keep coding. It's my job. But Ultimate Power Crunch! I— I can't— I gotta— mmph— rrgh— I ACCEPT! {SRMX12 races across the platforms and collects the Power Crunch} YES! WE DID IT! INFINITE COINS! BUFFALO CHOWDER!
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Post by Honstlar on Apr 25, 2019 16:05:55 GMT -6
(Cut to Turchkid surrounded by bags of Oh My Word chips.) Turchkid03: SEASONED CORN CHIPS!! (Cut back to SRMX12 with the Power Crunch.)
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Apr 25, 2019 18:10:37 GMT -6
So, uh, why were you guys looking for this anyway? What were you planning on doing with it? Oh. Uh... this plot got so sidetracked, I kinda forgot. Weren't we gonna pay Mista Fixit for fixing that city you broke? Right! That's it! {Wipe to Mista Fixit, still standing in the middle of the city, bored. The four walk in.} {hands Mista Fixit a wad of bills} Here's your eleven dollar signs, Fixit! {gives a thumbs-up and disappears, along with all other video game objects} Well, we paid the guy... but we didn't lose anything. Since this stuff's infinite, we still have as much as before. Oh, right. We can do whatever we want with this stuff!!
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Post by Honstlar on Apr 25, 2019 18:16:24 GMT -6
That give me an idea... (Surf music starts playing, as we cut to Honstlar, Gfd and Dooble surfing on a wave of money.)
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on Apr 25, 2019 18:21:29 GMT -6
SO MUCH BILLS!! MY FACE IS OF GREEN! {Cut to Gfd walking up to Bubs' Concession Stand} Hey, Bubs. I'll buy fifty thousand more food trucks. You got it! {Cut to Honstlar watching as the Pillquarters gets renovated into a gold-plated mansion} You guys done yet? CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Almost. We're pouring the melted gold on all the tables right now. Well, I'll give you ten billion more dollars if you finish within the next fifteen milliseconds. CONSTRUCTION WORKER: It shall be done! {Cut to Gfd walking into the King of Town's castle} Hi, I'd like to buy the town. {hands him some dollars} I'm set for life!!
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on May 16, 2019 18:04:56 GMT -6
{The montage ends. Cut to Gfd, Honstlar, Dooble, and SRMX12 standing in the gold-coated Pillmansion, wearing crowns, fancy robes, gold jewelry, and sunglasses.} Sure is nice being infinitely rich, and leader of the planet, and such. Uh, hey guys... how much did you pay to renovate the Pillquarters? It cost a billion dollars, but I was generous and gave them 173 septillion instead. I mean, it's not like we're ever gonna run out of money. What about the town? I paid googol dollars for it. And all those food trucks in the basement? I paid them Graham's number dollars. And I paid TREE(3) dollars for Mars. The planet, not the chocolate. But yeah, also the chocolate. {starting to sound concerned} Any other large purchases I should know about? Why does it matter how much we spend? We have infinity! We'll never run out. Just tell me. Well, I've been handing jillion-ferzillion dollar bills to random people on the street. 'Cause why not? It'll make no difference to us. {worried} How many people? Everybody! Everybody! ...And by that I mean, yeah, pretty much everyone I know. NOOOO! Why "no"? I keep telling you we won't run out of money. Yeah, but neither will they. Pardon? Applesauce? Right now, we have infinite money, so currency is essentially meaningless to us, right? Everything's free, basically. Yeah. If you make everyone as rich as us, the same will be true for them! They can buy anything they want! Prices will skyrocket! In five minutes, a single loaf of bread might be worth a trillion dollars! In time, all concept of value will become meaningless to everyone around the world, and without prices or relative values, the planet and its citizens will descend into violent chaos! The world as we know it will end! What have you done? But we can still stop it, right? Maybe. I assume the damage isn't too bad right now, so we might be able to— {A meteor crashes into the Pillmansion, decimating it. The four stand up from its ruins to find the sky has turned red and the citizens of Free Country, USA have become crazed and maniacal, beating each other up over scraps of garbage.} Nevermind. We're doomed.
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Post by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc on May 29, 2019 17:35:44 GMT -6
{They walk over to Bubs burning piles of money} Bubs! Those are semptillion-krillion dollar bills! What are you doing?! Haven't you heard?! It ain't worth nothin' no more! Nothin's worth anything! But how will you survive? Like this! {steals Gfd's hat and runs away} HEY!! That gazmillionaire just stole my precious hat! I had fifty tubes of pineapple-flavored ointment all up in there! And a length of twine! You see what I mean? Your hat is simultaneously worth nothing, and everything! It has no value, yet everyone needs it! You've broke all the rules we've built and established over thousands of generations! Now what do we do? Just live in a crime-ridden, insanity-filled, unstable, valueless apocalypse for the rest of our lives? Yes. Unless... What? To the thyme machine!{They run to the decimated Pillmansion to find SRMX12's Pixstar Runner cardboard thyme machine} Yes! Now we can finally restore the world to its former— {The King of Town runs by and steals it. Strong Bad steals it back, and the two fight over it until it rips in half.} Nooo! That time/space-continuum-channeling four-dimensional-cardboard-alloy took me years to program! Is there any other way we can time travel? We might be able to use the Game Boy in a blender. {A meteor hits it} Or that weird remote control thing from Helmet Quest. {A meteor hits that too} Well, that's it. We're doomed. You're right. Earth is in shambles. I might as well eat it up. That's it!! What? I should eat the Earth? Great! I do that all the time! No, no, no. Do your eating abilities have any limitations? Like, can you eat, for instance, intangible byproducts of reality? Oh, yeah, I can eat those. They taste like syrup. So... you can eat time?! Yeah. Why? Do it!! Um, okay. Like, a small bite, or a big bite? Doesn't matter! {Gfd takes a huge bite of the universe, and the background reverts back a few seconds. His hat appears back on his head.} IT WORKS!!
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